Shades of Blue
by spottedhorse
Summary: She loved these moments when she could watch him without him knowing. She loved to look at him; he was her joy in life. And he loved her so much it scared him. Can their love survive what life throws at them?
1. Her

I had a request for a story about Brass and a certain other character from a Jim Brass superfan. Happy New Year, beaujolais! I hope all the other Brass fans enjoy as well. Please push the little button and deposit your reviews. Brass stories don't get near enough. But then we don't get enough of Jim Brass either, lol.

------------------------------------------------------------

The sun worked its way through the drapes, casting light and shadows over him. She lay beside him, gazing at his face. He was still sleeping soundly, having worked a double yesterday. She loved these moments when she could watch him without him knowing. She loved to look at him; he was her joy in life.

His appearance had worried her lately. Fatigue and weariness were becoming a permanent fixture in his features. He was tired….unbelievably tired. He had been for months. She tried to get him to go to the doctor and have an exam but he had shrugged it off. He'd had enough of doctors, he said. She understood; doctors had been a major part of his existence for over four months as he had recovered. Now he was free from them and wanted nothing more to do with them for awhile. But she still worried.

Even so, she loved looking at him. His face was a map of his life…of him. The laugh lines around his mouth and eyes told of his sense of humor. Years of worry and frustration showed in the lines on his forehead. And his eyes, beautiful blue eyes that told her so much; when he was happy or amused, they were bright and sparkled but when he was sad or worried they turned dark and when he was aroused, they became smoky. Lately they had been dark most of the time. She missed his bright eyes and even more missed the smoky ones.

Then there was his hair. Since she had known him, it had slowly receded and turned grayer. But the thing she loved about his hair was that he never quite knew what to do with it. When she first met him, it was a little longer and he combed it forward, stray strands falling over his forehead randomly. Now he wore it really short, giving him the look of the marine that he had been in his previous life. In fact, with that haircut and his often tough demeanor, he looked like a retired DI, one that could still scare the hell out of a recruit.

Smiling, she remembered their first "morning after." His hair had been a mess. Between the number she'd done by running her fingers through it and the bedhead look, his hair was standing up, spiking in all directions. She'd had a difficult time not laughing. He, of course, demanded payback for her snickers. What sweet payback it was too. Just the memory still made her flush and grow wet.

He had never looked old to her, but lately…. Not that she thought of him as old, just weary. When he was rested and not so weighed down, he was anything but old. But the last year had taken a toll. The problem with being a part of a team is that when one member is having a bad time, everyone suffers. Between Jim's battle for his life, Catherine and Lindsey's abductions, Gil's near burn out, and Sara's kidnapping, it had been a very bad year. The stress of the whole Miniature Killer case and the mess with Mike Keppler didn't help any. But things had seemed to settle down a little, that is until Sara just up and left. Gil was hurt the most, but the whole group was affected.

But old or not, she loved him with her entire being. She knew their age difference worried him. She was young and vital, he had insisted just the other day. What was she doing with an old dog like him? He'd made her angry which upset him. He never liked to see her upset and she could see him silently berating himself for hurting her then. "Give it up," she'd told him. "I love you and I know you love me. Nothing else matters."

For a few minutes the sparkle had returned to his eyes. But then the phone rang and he left on another case. When he'd come back, after the double, the darkness was entrenched. It hurt her to see him like this. She'd heard all the stories, the warnings about getting involved with a cop, but since she was a cop too she thought she could handle it.

And she was handling it but she was worried about him, really worried. And the news she had yet to deliver might be more than he could handle. But she had to tell him. There had been too many secrets in his life already.

He began to stir. She reached for him, her hand gently rubbing his cheek. His eyes opened, looking startled. Then he saw her and his features settled into a smile. She loved the way his smile took up his whole face. Continuing to rub his face, she whispered, "good morning."

He grunted contentedly. He reached for her, taking her hand in his and tenderly kissing it. The sparkle was back. "Ready for some breakfast?" she asked.

He nodded negatively. Throwing the covers off, he mumbled, "be back in a minute."

She heard him in the bathroom and then the buzzing of his electric toothbrush. The door opened and he shuffled back to bed. Back in the bed, he pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her. "Ready for you." His eyes were growing smoky.

She gave herself to him eagerly. His touch sent tingles through every nerve in her body, sparking a fire within. She had missed this, what he did to her with his hands, where his touch sent her. There was no urgency in their love making. They needed something more than just sex. They needed the warmth and reassurance that comes with loving and being loved, so he took his time exploring, kneading, kissing, and nuzzling. Her hands reveled as they made their way around his body, spending extra time on his hot spots. Their kisses were soulful and giving, conveying feelings for which there are no words.

The tenderness gave way to fervor as the pace accelerated. He took her into an erotic fog of agony and pleasure, bringing her to the brink and then teasing her by backing off just a little, holding her there, wanting the ecstasy that she knew he had in store for her. He taunted her a little longer and then took her higher sending her over the edge into sweet relief. Digging her fingers into his back as he went with her, she moaned and yelled his name. "Oh baby," he groaned as he exploded. They clung to each other as they descended together. He nuzzled into her neck, breathing in her scent and then gently nibbling. "God baby, I don't know what I'd do without you. I love you," he whispered.

She kissed him and then sat up. "We need to talk."

Concern crossed his face, wiping the bright blue away and turning his eyes dark. "What about," he asked cautiously.

"I, um, I'm not sure how you're going to take this…"

"Just spit it out. You're moving on, aren't you?" The bitterness in his voice bit her. His expression revealed a desperate resignation in his soul. His heart was breaking.

"No," she said, as she reached for his face, holding his jaw in her palm, her thumb stroking his cheekbone. "No…I couldn't do that, Jim. You are everything to me. Without you…nothing else would matter. Especially now…"

He looked at her relieved but questioning. "Then … what?" he mumbled.

"Um….how would feel about…." she paused, gathering courage, "… about a little Brass?"

Shock stilled him. He stared at her, his mouth half open. Then he dipped his head, staring into the bed, his fingers fidgeting as they always did when he was nervous or excited. She couldn't read what he was thinking so she waited.

Finally he looked up at her, into her eyes. "I'm too old for this, but….I can't think of a greater joy in life then seeing you heavy with my child….or better seeing you holding my baby in your arms. It's for real, Sofie…we're having a baby?" His eyes were bright blue behind the tears that were streaming down his cheeks. "It's not fair to you or it. I'll be an old man before he graduates grammar school, but I can't help it….I'm so happy."

"I know you've worried about our age difference, Jim. This makes it fair, because if you are right and you leave me before I'm ready to lose you….this baby….I'll still have a part of you with me; a little someone we made together." She felt the tears that were spilling out of her own eyes.

He pulled her close to him and tenderly kissed away her tears. Then he pulled her down on the bed and stretched out next to her, his hand covering her belly. She watched his expression as it changed to awe and reverence. "A baby…." He whispered. His eyes turned towards hers, bluer than she had ever seen them, tears still seeping out. "All the screw ups and trouble in my life," he choked out. "All the hurt and heartbreak….it was worth it to have you here, now. The last chapters of my life will be my happiest ones."

"I don't want to hear about the last chapters, Jim. I plan on making the most of whatever time we are given together. My prayer is that our child has the benefit of his or her father's guidance well into adulthood, because you have so much to give our baby and I want that for him."

"Or her," he smiled.

"Or her…." She agreed.

-----------------------------------------------

Please remember the little button down there. Let me know what you thought of this one:-)


	2. Him

Reviews were so supportive and it got my brain going, so I decided to add to the story.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

He opened the door quietly to enter the dark house. She was probably asleep and he didn't want to wake her. Tiredness often drove her to bed early these days. That was okay with him though, she had a good reason. Being seven months pregnant couldn't be easy, he thought, lugging all that extra weight around….and she was so tiny to begin with.

He kicked off his shoes and tossed his jacket over the chair. Flipping on the light in the kitchen, he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and downed it quickly. His shoulder was bothering him, so he popped some painkillers, flipped off the light and headed for bed.

The light from a full moon filtered into the bedroom, casting a glow over her sleeping form. Pausing to look at her for a moment, he smiled. Coming home to her in his bed, even if she was asleep, was worth all the crap he put up with at work. Heading into the bathroom, he brushed his teeth and changed into one of the tee shirts he usually slept in…well, if she didn't take it off him first. But lately, he'd been sleeping in the shirts a lot. She was too tired for anything else. But that was okay with him; she was carrying his baby.

Stopping beside the bed, he watched her sleeping. His head tilted and a smile crept across his features. She was so beautiful. It struck him at least once a day that he was a very lucky guy; he had seen the other guys at the station drooling over her. She could have any guy she wanted but for some strange reason that he couldn't grasp, she wanted him….enough to let her body grow round with his child. She was having his baby; he still couldn't believe it.

The pregnancy had been accidental but she was happy about it. It was a permanent connection to him, she said. They had dangerous jobs and bad things could happen to either of them. It was a reality that they lived with daily. But this little person that they shared, it would connect them for eternity….that's the way she saw it. He didn't think that deeply about it. He was still stuck in amazement; amazement that she was with him, that she loved him enough to want his child, that he still had what it took to make a baby.

When he slipped between the sheets, she stirred a little, wiggling back towards his body. It amused him that she always did that, seeking him out in the bed even in the deadest of sleep. He knew what she wanted, the feel of him next to her. He knew it because it was he wanted. Snuggling up against her, her felt her motion stop as she relaxed into him. His hand settled on her hip, fighting the temptation to caress her silky skin. He didn't want to wake her. Her hair was spread out all over the pillow, tickling his nose as he nuzzled in closer. He loved the smell of her shampoo…hell, he loved anything that was to do with her.

She did a lot of complaining lately about what was happening to her body. She was in the "I feel fat," stage. He tried to assure her that she was nothing of the sort, but she didn't buy into it. He smiled as he remembered their conversation a couple of days ago. She had been standing in the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror, consternation on her face. He'd walked up behind her and put his arms around her, patting her tummy. "I'm fat," she had whined. Normally she wasn't a whiner. "You are not," he had insisted. The look she shot him could stop a train. "Liar." He'd chuckled. "Baby, you are drop dead gorgeous anytime…so slender but with really nice curves in all the right places. And a little bit of tomboy appeal added in for good measure. But now…being pregnant adds interest to those curves… giving you a very 'hot mama' look." He had smiled, thinking she would like his assessment. She had frowned at him in the mirror. "Hot mama?"

"Well, you're becoming a mama…..and you are most definitely hot. Sometimes just looking at you …well, let's just say you're giving life to more than the bundle you are carrying around." That had done the trick. She had smiled and then told him what she planned to do about his new life…and then she had given him a sample.

The guys at the station were having a lot of fun, teasing him about becoming a father. Most of the time he took it in stride, knowing that he was an easy target. He had resigned himself to the idea that most people who would see him with his child would think it was his grandchild. He just hoped it didn't warp the kid too much.

The other day, one of the guys had made a comment about Sofia and the mailman. Jim wanted to deck him. The comment sent Jim into the past, his elation when Nancy had announced her pregnancy and his heartbreak when he discovered that Ellie was another man's child. He knew that he didn't have to worry about that with Sofia. She was one of the most honest people he'd ever met. It was one of the things that he loved most about her.

He drew in a deep breath as he once again fought the urge to caress her awake. She needed her sleep. Just then she moved, wiggling closer into him and then rolling onto her back. He knew that wouldn't last long….since she'd been pregnant, she didn't stay on her back long because the baby didn't like it. Soon Sofia would get a petulant kick on the inside and she'd move again. He grinned as he realized how in tune he'd become with her discomforts. About five minutes later, he was proven right. Sofia rolled over onto her side, now facing him.

His heart was swelling as he lay there, looking at her. It was still a wonder to him that such a beautiful creature could love him. And she was so very beautiful. The set of her eyes seemed exotic to him yet, they were also very open and friendly. And they were a bright, clear blue that sparkled when she was happy, which was most of the time. Another thing he loved about her, her disposition. She was a naturally happy person with a keen sense of humor that blended well with his own. Just being around her made him feel good.

He was feeling very good right now. She had nuzzled into his chest, her long legs wrapping themselves over his. He had always enjoyed playing hockey, a contact sport. Sleeping with Sofia had become his new favorite contact sport….even when they just slept. He wrapped his arms around her and gently kissed the top of her head.

She moaned softly. "Jim?"

"No, it's McDreamy…" he whispered.

"Then go away."

"Never baby…."

Her eyes opened lazily. He could see her sparkle even in the dim light. "Not McDreamy, but definitely the man of my dreams."

"How you feeling?"

"Hmmm…let's see. You're holding me in your arms….I feel fine." Her smile melted him.

"Yeah, you do."

"You okay?" she asked.

"You kiddin'? I'm holding you in my arms. I'm in heaven."

He held her as she drifted back to sleep. Listening to her soft breaths, his eyes grew heavy and he was soon asleep also.

---------------------------------------------------------

So did chapter 2 measure up?


	3. Cherished

Sitting behind a pile of files on his desk, Jim Brass was beginning to wonder if there would ever be an end. He had assigned himself to desk duty for the week because Sofia could call any time, ready to go to the hospital. He didn't want to be in the middle of a case when the call came. Signing the bottom of the page in front of him, he slipped it into a folder and moved it to the 'done' pile. He sighed deeply as he lifted the next folder off the stack. It was then that he heard a snicker form his doorway. Looking up, he saw Catherine standing there, smiling. "Catherine," he smiled. "You over here on a case?"

"No," she said as she walked into his office. "Just thought I'd come by to see how the daddy-to-be is holding up."

Eyebrows shooting up, he sighed again. "Sitting on pins and needles," he smirked. "Thing is, she seems in no hurry. When I left the house, she was cleaning."

Catherine eyed him, "I'm sure it will be soon. I spoke with her earlier and she's full of energy. Won't be long now."

"What?" Confusion covered his features.

"Oh, come on Jim….you know that often women get a huge burst of energy just before going into labor."

As if on cue, his phone rang. "Brass," he said into it.

Catherine watched as his expression changed from confusion to panic while he listened.

"Okay, I'm on my way. Please, honey….don't do anything til I get there." He was out of the chair before the call was over. Hanging up, he looked at Catherine. "It's now….we're having a baby."

Catherine chuckled. "So I gathered. I'll see you two later at the hospital." She watched him as he hustled out of his office and down the hall. She hadn't seen him move that fast in a long time.

Jim swung the car into his driveway and hurried into the house. Sofia was waiting for him in the living room, looking nervous but happy. But then she almost always looked happy. The sight of her, though, sitting there and smiling at him stopped him in his tracks. "This is it, Jim," she said. "When we come home, it won't just be the two of us anymore."

Breathing deeply, he walked over to her and knelt in front of her, gazing into her face. His hand caressed her jaw as he kissed her gently. His heart was so full that he couldn't speak, but he saw in her eyes that she understood. This was one of those moments he would tuck away in his memory and cherish forever.

Standing up, he held his hand out to take hers. "Come on baby, let's go." Her eyes twinkled at him as she rose and followed him out of the door. He helped her into the car and then they sped away.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her reaction when a contraction hit. By the time they made it to the hospital, he was convinced that the dashboard would hold her clench marks permanently. They made it into the hospital and a nurse took her to a labor room while Jim finished the admitting details. By the time he made it back to her, she was in a hospital gown and hooked up to a monitor. She was in the middle of a contraction when he walked into the room. He pulled a chair close to her and took her hand, which she squeezed. "What was it I'm supposed to do?" he asked her.

Looking at him in disbelief, she snapped at him. "Didn't you pay any attention in the class?"

"Well, yeah…but when they got to the part where it hurts…I sort of quit listening. I didn't want to hear about you hurting. And then there was all the icky stuff…." He shrugged his shoulders and shook all over as if shaking off a bad memory.

Sofia glared at him, squeezing his hand harder, hoping to inflict a little pain herself. Then she spotted the gleam in his eyes and realized he was playing with her. Her expression softened. Of course this is how he would behave. He always used humor to deflect worry. When he stopped joking and gave into the worry, that's when she knew there was trouble. She squeezed his hand harder anyway.

Jim chuckled. "You tryin' to break my hand?"

"I've given it consideration. After all, you said you wanted us to share everything. Icky stuff, eh? If I have to do icky, then so do you."

"And the pain? You want to share the pain?" Another contraction gripped her and she squeezed harder. Jim flinched at the strength of her grip as he tried to talk her through the contraction, coaching her in breathing.

Once it was over and she began to relax, she smiled at him. "So you were listening after all?"

He returned her smile, looking intently into her eyes. His features changed to the puppy dog look that she adored. She saw his breath catch and then he swallowed. "God, you are so beautiful…." He said softly.

"Yeah…right." She flinched as another contraction came.

Jim coached her through it and relaxed as she relaxed. "Yeah…you are."

"Are what?" she asked in confusion.

"Beautiful…undeniably so." She scowled at him and then chuckled.

The doctor chose that moment to appear. "I'm so glad to see you two are having such a good time," she quipped. "Let's see how we are doing?"

Jim looked once again into Sofia's eyes. "We're doing fine, Doc. But you might want to check on the baby."

Sofia looked at her husband, tears forming in her eyes. She knew that some people wondered why she was with him, with the age difference and all. But those who wondered didn't know him as she did. When he cared for someone, he cared deeply. And when he loved, he loved whole-heartedly, holding nothing back. She felt fortunate to be the focus of his heart, basking in his adoration daily. No one felt more cherished than she.

But that wasn't all that made her love him so much. He was her hero, facing life head on with integrity. Many of the details of his life in Jersey that haunted him so much were the very things that had elevated him in her eyes. Trying to make his marriage work even in the face of so many problems and clinging tightly to his role as Ellie's father, even after the truth had been revealed, spoke to his character. And willingly taking the heat to clean up the Vice Squad had taken immense courage; courage she had witnessed time and again in Vegas. That same courage, along with his integrity, carried him after Bell was killed. Not many would have accepted the responsibility of firing the fatal shot into Officer Bell or could have faced Bell's widow as he had done. She had seen him on his way into the room; seen the determination in his face, the need to take whatever she wanted to dish out. Later he told Sofia how much it had surprised him that Traci Bell had forgiven him and hugged him….how they had cried together. She lived in awe of Traci Bell's ability to forgive him, especially knowing how much that forgiveness meant to Jim, even though he would never forgive himself. Sofia didn't think she would be able to forgive someone who took her Jim away from her.

Another contraction interrupted her thoughts. The doctor had finished her exam and reminded her that they could give her something for the pain. Her eyes twinkled as she looked at Jim. "Well, I'll eventually need something but I think Jim could use something now."

Jim smirked. "I can take it if you can."

Three hours later the doctor decided it was time to "get this baby out." Jim's hand ached and Sofia had gotten very cranky. He had been relieved when she agreed to an epidural. Jim didn't like seeing her in such pain and had she not agreed, he was ready to beg. Suddenly they were in a room full of other people. The doctor was there, of course, along with several nurses. Jim concluded that one had been called in to watch him, in case he passed out or something. He had been asked several times if he was okay; apparently he looked pale. But he wasn't leaving his Sofie. Besides, they had deliberately not been told the sex of the baby and he wanted to be there for its arrival and find out with her.

Finally the doctor gave Sofia the okay to push and relief flooded her countenance as she complied. Three pushes later and a head popped out, followed by the rest of their baby's body. Both parents looked at the doctor with anticipation. Once she'd finished the task of tying off and clipping the umbilical cord, she looked at them. "Sofia…Jim…," she held the baby over Sofia, "say hello to your son." Sofia started crying. Jim felt as if he was standing there like an idiot, chuckling. They watched their squinty eyed, bawling little creation in awe. Then one of the nurses whisked him away.

The doctor returned to her work on Sofia as Jim took Sofia's hand in his. Tenderly, he leaned over and kissed her. Tears in his eyes, he couldn't speak; but she didn't need to hear words because she could read him. His eyes sparkled a clear, bright blue as his joy shone through. It was one of those moments that she would file away and cherish forever.

-----------------------------------------

Okay, so now what? Do they live happily ever after or is there trouble on the horizon?


	4. Home

Jim was bursting with pride when he loaded his small family into his car to take them home. Little James Elliot Brass had been thoroughly checked out from the top of his head to the tips of his tiny toes and pronounced in good health. Jim had hurt for the little guy when the plastic bell shaped piece had been put on him, continuing a tradition that had been around for thousands of years, clipping the manhood. The doctor had told them that she preferred it to other methods. Jim didn't remember his own experience but thought that a plastibell probably wasn't used. He winced and decided to move his thoughts into another direction.

Sofia was absolutely radiant. Jim couldn't keep his eyes off of her, except of course, when he was ogling his new son. The gang had come by to visit and ogle with him. The younger ones had been congratulatory and happy for him, but it was Gil that Jim thought came the closest to understanding. His friend of many years had looked at him squarely. "Congratulations Jim," he'd said. But as Jim had looked into his eyes, he thought he saw a little envy. Gil confirmed it when he continued sadly,"Guys like us…our age, our chances at this are usually behind us. I always wanted a family…kids, but I was afraid to make it happen. But you went for it. I know I'd be sacred."

"More like scared shitless," replied Jim. "But I try not to concentrate on the fear. I might miss something, if I do." Gil had smiled at him and nodded, regret filling his eyes.

They pulled into the drive and Jim's heart swelled as the reality hit him. He was bringing his wife and his son home. He helped her from the car and taking the little guy from her, he walked with her into the house. She stopped just inside the doorway and turned to him, smiling. Leaning across the baby, she kissed him tenderly. Backing away, her eyes glistened.

He watched her in awe of the moment. She had brought so much into his life; one that had been winding down until she had finally pried his feelings out of him. Now he felt more alive than he had in years and he had so much more to look forward to.

He carried the baby back to his new room and laid the little guy down. They stood together next to the crib, watching him stretch before lapsing back into sleep. Quietly they walked across the hall to their room. Sofia began to shed her clothes, preparing to change into something less restrictive. Jim watched her as she stripped down to her underclothes. She glanced sideways at him, a suggestive smile from her filling him with heat. But not yet, he reminded himself. Her body still needed some time. Still, she looked so beautiful; he had to look. After all, that was the body that had carried and given birth to his child. As far as he was concerned, she was something mystical….having summoned life from a virtually dead man

She caught the smoky tint in his blue eyes and recognized some of what he was feeling. He had always looked at her appreciatively, making her feel beautiful and cherished. But now as she caught him looking, she saw something different. Oh the lust there, along with the love, but there was something new….reverence, maybe? Whatever it was, it made her feel ethereal. She stood there, watching him watch her, tears forming in her eyes. He made her feel so loved and treasured.

He saw the tears in her eyes and grew concerned. Crossing the room swiftly, he folded her into his arms. "What is it baby? What's wrong?"

His voice soothed her churning emotions. "Nothing…I just….the way you looked at me, it was just so overwhelming. I love you so much." She felt him smile as his hand stroked her back. Gently he kissed he cheek and then pulled his face back to look at her. A lump was sitting in his throat and he couldn't speak but he hoped she understood what he was thinking. He loved her too.

Just then they heard the soft whimpers of a newborn's cry. She tensed as he chuckled. "I guess little Jimmy is awake," he said. "I'll go get him while you finish changing."

He walked across the hall as she pulled her sweats on. He returned with a whimpering bundle. As she watched him, a thought occurred to her. "Jim, it's going to be confusing if we call him Jimmy. I mean eventually either someone will call you Jimmy or call him Jim …"

Jim smirked at her. "You were the one that insisted on James. But I suppose we could use his middle name."

"No, way too formal…"

His bright blue eyes gazing into a smaller set of blues, an idea came to Jim. "Well, we could use his initials…J.E.B."

"Jeb?" She thought for a moment and then smiled. "I like that…." Looking at him and smiling, "what do you think Jeb, like it?"

Little Jeb quit whimpering and tried to focus his stare on her. Apparently he liked his nickname. "So, Jeb it is," smiled Jim.

"He's probably hungry, Jim. I'll take him." He handed the bundle over to her and followed her to the chair in the corner. She sat, collecting the baby and positioning him for his snack. Jim sat on the bed, watching. He couldn't remember ever seeing anything as beautiful. Although, envy wormed its way into his reverie as he realized that little Jeb was getting to do something that Jim very much wanted to do also….well, without the milk maybe.

----------------------------------------

I've noticed a trend with Brassfics. There aren't enough. BUt one really nice thig...they are truly appreciated. I can write a Grissfic and get lots of readers and reviews. But a Brassfic gets fewer readers and almost as many reviews...and all so supportive. Many thanks to all of you! The angst is coming but we have to happy first, right?


	5. Too Perfect

It was a beautiful spring day and Jim was enjoying watching his little family as Sofia pushed their son, Jeb, in the swing. The park was full of children and parents, all with the same idea. He smiled as Sofia stopped the swing and unhitched Jeb, setting the little guy down on his feet. Jeb wobbled for an instant and then gleefully took off in a toddler style sprint towards Jim. His feet got tangled up and he tripped just as he got to his father, but strong loving hands reached out and caught him before he hit the ground. Scooping his son up Jim laughed, as did Jeb.

His babyish features were actually beginning to show a blend of his parents. He had Jim's expressive blue eyes but thankfully Jim thought, he'd inherited his mother's nose. His light brown hair had Jim's texture but again, thankfully in Jim's view, he had more of it. Sofia said that when he giggled, as he often did, he looked just like his father.

She was watching her two "men" as they laughed, her heart full…happy beyond belief. Jeb had brought renewal to Jim and rather than getting older with each passing day, time seemed to be turning backwards for him. The worry lines in his forehead weren't as deep and the haunted look of despair had disappeared from his eyes. Only on the worst days at work did the darkness return to his blue eyes. Most of the time they shone a bright blue, but her favorite shade was still the smoky blue tint that she saw so often when he looked at her. Life was perfect….too perfect, she thought as a chill ran through her spine.

They loaded Jeb and their picnic supplies into the car and headed home. As they approached the market near their house, Sofia suggested that they pick up some ice cream for later. Jim pulled into the parking lot and turned off the engine. Sofia glanced back and saw that Jeb had fallen asleep in his car seat. "Honey, let's not wake him. One of us can run in for ice cream…."

Jim smiled. He knew who would get to do the "running." Unfastening his seatbelt, he stepped out of the car. Once inside the market, he made his way to the frozen aisle and located the ice cream. He studied the flavors and finally decided on Rocky Road, one of Sofia's favorites. It was then that he heard the shouting at the front of the store.

As he listened, he realized that a robbery was in progress. "Damn, he thought…no badge, no gun…nothing."

He peeked around the corner and saw two perps. One was standing next to the clerk and the other stood by the door. Both had guns. "Best to let it happen," he thought." If they get what they want, maybe they'll leave." He watched for signs that things would go bad but so far the clerk was cooperating. Jim beginning to breathe a little easier….maybe it would be okay.

Suddenly the door flew open as another customer walked into the store. The guy next to the clerk panicked and fired a shot. Jim edged his way around the end of the shelves, trying to get closer without being spotted. The shooter was losing it. He was in full panic mode and was waving his gun all around. Yelling, he told demanded that everyone lie down on the floor. A cell phone rang, startling the perp by the door, who grabbed a woman standing close by and put a gun to her head.

It was then that the one by the clerk spotted him. Jim was partially behind a shelf and only a few feet away. As the perp raised his gun to fire, Jim lunged. They both hit the floor hard and the gun slid across the floor as the robber landed. Jim was stunned momentarily but recovered enough to pin the guy to the floor.

Looking around, he checked for the other gunman. He'd lost sight of the perp. He realized why when he heard a sound behind him. Turning to face the assailant, the first blow caught him across his jaw, knocking him on his back on the floor. The other guy rolled and was on top of Jim, flailing and punching. .Jim managed to get in a few blows, managing to get enough leverage to push the guy off. .The other perp slammed his clasped hands down on the back of Jim's neck, stunning him and then the two began to beat him.

Outside, Sofia had heard the gunshot. Calling 911, she had summoned help. Glancing back at Jeb, her impulses were split. Jim was inside and defenseless, but she was afraid to leave Jeb. What if the violence spilled outside….who would be there for their son? She knew what Jim's reaction would be if she left Jeb alone, so she forced herself to stay put. After a few minutes, however, her patience ran out. To her, it seemed as if an eternity had passed; not knowing about Jim was crushing her. Just as she decided to get out of the car, she heard sirens. Sighing in relief, she stayed with Jeb until the units pulled in.

A short shootout ensued and the two would be robbers lay dead in the doorway. Sofia charged through the swarm of cops and paramedics to find Jim. Her heart plummeted as she saw him; bile rose in her throat. A paramedic was stooped over him, frantically working to stabilize him. His blood was everywhere, his face full of cuts and gashes. One eye was already swollen shut and the other was just a slit. Somehow he was still conscious and as he saw her, his hand reached out.

Moving to his side, she wrapped his fingers in hers. Tears flowed down her face as she watched his one eye. He struggled to speak and somehow managed "okay", in spite of his broken jaw. She wanted to touch his face, soothe him, but was afraid of causing more pain. Somewhere in all of the mayhem, the call had gone out over the network; Captain Jim Brass was down.

Nick Stokes was finishing a scene three blocks away. He picked up the call and hurried to the market. Finding Sofia next to Jim, he asked about Jeb. "In the car," was all Sofia could manage. She turned, looking towards the parking lot trying to decide where she was needed.

"Its okay, Sofia. I'll see to him. You stay with Jim." Nick walked out to the car to find Jeb awake and crying. Opening the door, he unbuckled the toddler and held him closely. "It's okay Jeb, Uncle Nick's got ya." Pulling out his cell phone, he called Grissom and then Catherine. Grissom said he'd meet Jim at the hospital. Catherine told Nick to bring Jeb to her house. Lindsey could watch him while they all gathered at the ER.

The paramedics wheeled Jim out to a waiting ambulance and Sofia followed. Nick nodded at her and told her to go. Climbing into the ambulance with Jim, she turned and mouthed a thank you to their friend. The doors were slammed shut and the ambulance raced away as Nick and Jeb stood and watched.

---------------------------------------------------------

SO, how am I doing? Is this the kind of turn you were looking for? The litle button is down there somewhere...


	6. Images

By the time they made it to the hospital, Jim had slipped into unconsciousness. The paramedic had worked on him during the ride over, checking vitals and the IV that they had put him on at the scene. Sofia watched, holding Jim's hand and fighting to keep panic at bay.

Jim groaned when they arrived at the hospital and Sofia let go of his hand while they unloaded him. Somewhere in his darkness he had been aware of her grip. She followed as they wheeled him into an exam room, a doctor and nurses swarming in. They went to work immediately. Sofia stood in the corner, her eyes never leaving him. She was aware of the paramedic giving the doctor a rundown of Jim's condition; low pulse, high blood pressure….in and out of consciousness. She heard him describe the injuries to his face; probable broken jaw and left orbital bone, multiple contusions and abrasions. There were other injuries also, mostly to his chest. The doctor was looking Jim over as the paramedic continued, detailing Jim's shortness of breath and bluish tint to his skin. Sofia listened and watched, fear mounting inside of her. Everything sounded so serious.

Just then Jim gasped for breath and the room went into immediate action. A nurse nudged Sofia out of the room and left her standing just outside the door, watching. Just then Gil Grissom walked up behind her. She felt his arm go around her in quiet support. They watched as Jim was intubated. "I need his ABG," yelled the doctor. "Also, ICP is indicated ….get Meadows in here."

Sofia understood the terminology but her brain wasn't processing the details. Jim was in trouble…serious trouble. She wanted desperately to go to him, hold him. Fear gripped her even tighter as she watched the action in his room. Tears trickled down her face as they watched him being put on a ventilator…life support. Gil sensed that she was about to lose control and eased her away. A nurse in the hall led them to another cubicle where they would be close but Sofia could sit down. She mumbled something about it being a slow night so Jim was getting all of the attention.

Sometime later the ER physician found them. "Mrs. Brass, I need to give this to you straight up. Jim's condition is very serious. He has multiple facial fractures and trauma to the chest. It was a very severe beating. He is on a ventilator; he has a collapsed lung which we are treating with a chest tube. Dr. Meadows, our neurologist, had been called in to treat his head injuries. We've inserted an ICP to monitor the swelling in his head, but surgery to relieve the pressure is probable. He has a fractured jaw and also his left orbital bone is broken. At the moment, they are secondary considerations. And of course, he has multiple contusions and abrasions over most of his body. It's going to be a very long night…if there is anything we can get for you, coffee, soda…."

"No…thank you, Doctor."

"Dr. Meadows is with him now but a nurse will come get you in a few minutes. You can go in but if anything happens, you'll have to leave immediately. Understood?"

Sofia nodded. Disbelief and denial were surging through her….no this couldn't be happening; not to them…not to Jim. Hadn't he been through enough already?"

Gil stood in the hallway as Sofia went in to see Jim. Catherine found him, standing guard just outside the door. "Hey…how's he doing?"

Gil looked intensely worried. "Not good." He explained the injuries to her and watched as she absorbed the information about their friend.

She glanced into the room and then back at Grissom. "Okay, well….most of the gang is out in the waiting room. I'll go fill them in."

"Yeah…thanks. I'll stay with Sofia. I think she could use some support."

"Okay…well, we're here for whatever they need." Catherine headed back to the waiting area, leaving a very somber Grissom outside Jim's door.

Inside the room, Sofia gently took his hand in hers, relieved to feel warmth in his fingers. "Jim," she said, fighting back tears. She watched, hoping for but not expecting a response.

Jim Brass was floating, lost in darkness. Pain, there was so much pain…no other sensations, just pain. And then, something else….after floating, he felt a connection. He sensed, rather than felt her presence….an angel, his angel. Her face appeared in the darkness. She had brilliant blue eyes and a golden halo….such a sweet face. And the way she looked at him….images formed in his mind of the angel; she was watching him and then it changed and she was running, her halo swaying back and forth behind her head. The scene changed and she sat in front of a fireplace, her eyes glowing as warm as the fire, so beautiful and vibrant. And then she called his name, her tender voice soothing him…"Jim." He wanted to follow her voice, it sounded so warmth of her touch finally penetrated the darkness, quieting his fears. Despite the pain he felt safe, her voice and her touch combined into a palliative ointment for his pain. Still disoriented, he tried to focus on the sensations that he derived from her.

He tried to speak, but something was preventing him. He wanted to tell her to talk to him. He felt her fingers on his, gently stroking …..so loving, so full of care. Then he heard another sound…a sob. Again, sensing but not seeing, he knew that she was crying.

"No,' he wanted to say…"Please don't cry," he silently pleaded. .But the angel was crying, crying for him.

She spoke again, this time through her tears. Her words were simple, "I love you," yet they elicited so many beautiful images; blue eyes the reflected the light of heaven, her smile that illuminated his world, the golden hair of her halo, lips that invited him, and other images that seemed incongruent with angels. He clung to those images, his only escape from the pain.

The doctor stood in the doorway. "Talk to him," he suggested. "He might be able to hear you."

Sofia thought for a moment before speaking. "Jim, remember the cabin? You surprised me with all the arrangements; scheduled time off for both of us. We hadn't been married long and it was our first chance to really spend a few days alone together. …."

Cabin…images rolled through his mind like an old home movie. She was beautiful, so excited, so….desirable.

"Remember Jim? It snowed and you built a huge fire in the fireplace…"

_She sat on the floor in front of the hearth, sipping hot chocolate, wearing his favorite flannel shirt and a look of satisfaction. Her halo was a little messed up and her cheeks were still flushed. Her lips were swollen and full and the gleam in her eye told him that there was more to come._

_She was throwing snowballs at him. He had fallen down and she ran to him, standing over him and laughing before falling down beside him, curling into him. They lay in the cold snow, but he felt so warm. _

"And then I so scared to tell you …."

_She was sitting in the bed looking nervous. __"We need to talk."_

"_What about," he asked cautiously._

"_I, um, I'm not sure how you're going to take this…"_

"_Just spit it out. You're moving on, aren't you?" His heart was breaking._

"_No," she said, as she reached for his face, holding his jaw in her palm, her thumb stroking his cheekbone. Her eyes were so full of love. "No…I couldn't do that, Jim. You are everything to me. Without you…nothing else would matter. Especially now…"_

_He looked at her relieved but questioning. "Then … what?" he mumbled._

"_Um…how would feel about…." she paused, "… about a little Brass?"_

"I know it was at the cabin, Jim. That's where Jeb was conceived. "

She _slid out of the bed shyly, feeling fat and unattractive. He watched as she moved across the room, thinking that she had never looked more beautiful to him. Slipping into one of his shirts, she sat at the end of the bed, sighing. Her neck tasted so sweet as he nibbled and kissed, her skin was like satin beneath his fingertips. She leaned back into him, her eyes closing and her body relaxing into his caresses. She had smiled when he said he loved her and that she was gorgeous. She sighed contently as he moved his hand across her swollen belly and giggled when he told her that he envied the baby, getting to be inside her like that._

She talked on and on, bringing images into his mind; warm, sweet images that held off the pain. Sometimes she would quit talking and even though he sensed she was nearby, he felt disconnected. The pain was so intense when she quit talking…..

Sofia talked and talked until her mouth was dry. And then she talked some more. Doctors and nurses came and went, tests were run, procedures were performed, and then the surgery to relieve the swelling in his head. She sat beside his bed through it all, talking, reading, singing, and praying. She talked until she had no more voice to talk with.

Nighttime turned into day and then back to night, but she kept talking. Her only breaks came when one of their friends would come and chase her out for food…or when she would doze, still sitting in the chair next to him.

----------------------------------------------

Thanks for the positive comments on the last chapter. Still good? More to come...


	7. Awakenings

A groan startled Sofia out of her sleep. Then she felt him jerk. Jim was waking up. She buzzed for help; he was fighting the tube in his throat.

A nurse appeared in the doorway, realized what was happening and immediately called for a doctor.

"Jim," Sofia struggled to sound calm. "Honey, be still….they had to intubate you to help you breathe. That's what you feel in your throat and mouth. They'll want to take it out now but you need to stay quiet."

Jim's eyes were still swollen but he managed to open them slightly. She saw a little glimpse of blue and recognition as he relaxed a little. The doctor came in and checked Jim. "Jim, we're going to remove the tube. You have a broken jaw, so don't try to talk when we get it out. Your throat will be dry and sore, that will go away. I'm going to count to three and then pull it…ready?"

There was a slight nod from Jim and Sofia could tell he was stealing himself. The doctor counted and then slid the tube up and out. Jim gasped and immediately winced, the pain from his jaw searing him. Checking him again, the doctor seemed satisfied. "We'll have to get that jaw set and wired, but everything looks good for now…"

"Thank you," said Sofia. He left, stopping in the hallway and talking to the nurse.

Jim watched him leave and then looked back at Sofia. He wanted to talk, but the pain in his face told him to be quiet.

She smiled at him, simply happy to see him awake. "You've been out for two days. You took a really bad beating. Some ribs were cracked and one broken so you won't want to laugh for awhile. And your face is a mess; broken jaw, eyes sockets…. You scared me, Jim."

He wanted to hold her, comfort her….and himself. He tried to reach for her, willing his left arm to move but nothing happened. He grimaced in pain as he tried again, still nothing. Sofia saw his grimace and knew something was wrong. "Honey?"

He looked down at his left hand, trying to move his fingers. She realized what he was doing and watched intently for signs of movement. Nothing. Sofia stepped into the hall, catching the doctor just as he was about to walk away. "Doctor Williams, Jim can't move his hand…."

Williams stepped back into the room and walked straight to Jim. He watched Jim's concentration as he tried again to move his left arm. "Jim, can you wiggle your toes?" he asked as he lifted the covers from Jim's feet.

Jim tried to wiggle but nothing was happening. Panic was filling his eyes he began to understand the implications. The doctor first tickled and the poked Jim's foot to see if there was any response. There was none. "Okay Jim, let's try the other side."

As Jim concentrated, the toes on his right foot began to move. The doctor recovered his feet and then walked to his right hand. "And your fingers?" Jim began to move his fingers. It took effort and they were stiff, but they moved.

Doctor Williams moved back around to Jim's left side and held his fingers over Jim's wrist, checking for pulse. "You have a strong pulse in your wrist….that's a good sign, means circulation is good." The doctor stood in thought for a moment before continuing. "Okay Jim, this really isn't unexpected with the kind of head trauma you suffered. Your brain took a beating inside that hard skull of yours; the pressure from the swelling added insult to injury. With any luck at all, things will improve over the next few days. As you are able, we will start physical therapy to help things along. But there is a possibility that the damage is more permanent. PT might still improve the situation but if the brain cells that control those skills are actually dead, then some paralysis would be permanent." He paused, giving them time to digest his explanation. "Don't assume the worst just yet. I believe that we got were able alleviate the pressure quickly enough that little or no permanent damage was done."

"So, a couple of days, you think?" asked Sofia.

"Possibly a little longer. Right now, we need to see about getting the jaw set. But as we move through the next few hours, other signs of trauma may become evident. There were some things we couldn't determine while Jim was unconscious. But again, I expect that any problems we find will be temporary, improving with time and therapy."

Sofia sighed with relief. As she held Jim's good hand, she felt tension drain from him. "Thank you," she said to the doctor. He nodded and left.

Sofia looked down at her husband. His face was still swollen and bruised. It seemed that it was every color but the one that was natural for him. It seemed that as one bruise began to change and improve, another would appear. The nurse had told her that bruising could continue to appear for several days. He had closed his eyes, tears working their way out; his only way to release the fear that had boiled inside of him.

Jim had listened to the doctor, his head swimming. When he couldn't move his arm or his leg, panic had gripped him for all the obvious reasons. No one wanted to be an invalid. But he had a much younger vibrant wife. He lived daily with apprehension, certain that one day she would tell him that she was leaving for a younger man. If he were a cripple, that day was sure to come sooner. He knew she loved him but he could never get over the feeling that she deserved so much more than he had to offer.

He had been living a dream since the day she had come into his office, closed the door, and all but sexually assaulted him. It had scared him beyond belief when she approached his desk and then walked around, her hands going immediately to his face with her lips following. He had just about been shocked out of his shorts by the intensity of her passion. They had not been partnered for a while; he had made sure of that when he did the scheduling. His feelings for her had grown and he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to contain them any longer with them always so close together. He had no idea that she had similar feelings. On that day, their crimes had overlapped and they'd spent the last six hours in close proximity.

As the cases moved along, he had become more and more grouchy, he knew. A battle was raging inside him as he fought to keep his hands off of her, keep the fire in his groin under control. And then suddenly she was there, all over him…in his office. Her hands had worked themselves between the buttons of his shirt, sending him into another zone. Huskily he had suggested that his office was probably not a good place for what was sure to come next.

Her expression had warned him not to take too long. He arrived at her place about five minutes behind her. The night that followed was filled with emotional as well as physical discovery. She had told him that she loved him, had slowly fallen in love with him over the years they had worked together. As she had seen beyond Captain Jim Brass, seen more and more of the man under the façade, she had wanted him more and more. Him in his shirt sleeves all day had driven her wild. It had been a hot day and he had removed his tie and unbuttoned his collar too. She confessed that it had been difficult to concentrate on the case with him in such close proximity.

Life had been a fantasy since then. They were married a few moths later and Jeb had come a year after that. And now this. In his mind, it threatened everything.

Sofia sensed his concern. She leaned over and timidly kissed him, afraid of causing pain. "No matter what Jim, I love you." She wiped the tears from his face and smiled. "You're going to get better, but if…." She couldn't say it. Swallowing she tried again. "I'm not going anywhere. You are my life; you and Jeb."

More tears formed in his eyes as he looked into hers. He saw her love and felt it. Feeling a little selfish he clung to it, needing her. Yeah, she deserved so much more.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please use the little button :-)


	8. Beginning

The next few days were heartbreaking for Sofia. Her Jim, always so strong and full of life, lay quietly in the bed, waiting for something to happen. Once he had stabilized, the surgeon had gone to work on his face, setting his jaw and reconstructing the bones around his eyes; the left eye needing the most work. The doctor had asked if there were any changes he wanted to make while he had the chance. Jim had jotted his answer on a pad.

_Want to recognize me in the mirror._

The doctor had smiled and assured him that he would. After the surgery Sofia waited by his bed for him to wake up. Between the bandages and the bruises there was hardly a spot on his head that she felt she could touch And she needed to be able to touch him, so she contented herself with holding his hand. As he woke up Sofia edged closer to Jim, feeling his worry. Her fingers finding a spot to play in his hair, she felt she could touch without hurting him. He looked at her sadly. She knew there were things he wanted to say.

Looking into his eyes, she hoped all that needed saying was passing between them; love, the knowledge that they could depend on one another, dreams of their future together. She felt so much for this man that she had no words to use to describe. They were flooding through her now and she hoped that he could see them in her eyes. She was reading so much in his look too. Whenever he looked at her she felt adored; it was showing loud and clear in his expression now. Time stood still for them as they gazed at one another, lost in the moment.

His hand moved to his bandages and his eyes took on a questioning look. She smiled. "I'm glad you didn't have him change anything. I kind of like you the way you are. Well, maybe not so colorful, but …I'd feel like I was cheating on you if he made any changes. You know, sleeping with another man."

His eyes clouded and she knew his self doubt was resurfacing. "But you've spoiled me for other men, you know. I mean, after Jim Brass…how could any other guy measure up? You are my man, Jim. And I intend to look at your face over the breakfast table for many years."

He was giving her his puppy look, the one that he gave her whenever he wanted something…usually some time between the sheets. He used it because he knew she couldn't resist. "What? You looking for a roll in the hay?" She chuckled. "I'm game when you are."

A hint of a smile formed at the corners of his mouth and his eyes began to twinkle. His right hand motioned that he wanted his writing to pad. She handed it to him and he jotted; _Promise?_

She smiled as she read. "You work on getting well; I have some very sweet rewards in mind for you." A small rumble came from his chest and she knew he wanted to laugh.

"Sorry," she said. "I know it hurts to laugh."

He wrote again. _Feels good._

There was a knock on the door and a man walked in. "Mr. Brass? I'm Phil Nash. I'll be helping you with your Physical Therapy."

Sofia smiled and introduced herself. "What kind of therapy can you do right now. I mean, he's still pretty weak."

"For the next couple of days I'm just going to exercise his arms and legs; don't want to lose any muscle tone. When Jim's feeling a little stronger, we'll work on sitting up and then start working on walking."

"What about his paralysis on the left side?" asked a concerned Sofia.

"Hopefully by working those muscles will help the brain reconnect. As Jim gets stronger, we'll do more."

Sofia smiled. "Okay, well, I'll leave you men to your work." She leaned over Jim and gently kissed him. "Remember, there are rewards for hard work," she said as she winked at him.

His energy level heightened as he watched her walk out of the room. He wanted to get better but her promise of rewards just made recovery seem that much sweeter. After she left, he looked at Phil, willing him to get to work.

"Okay Jim," said Phil. "I'm going to do some exercises with your legs but you have to so some work too. But before we get started….I want to play 'Let's Make A Deal."

Jim tilted his head slightly, wondering what the younger man wanted.

"I'm going to help you get better and then you are going to tell me the secret."

Jim's eyebrow shot up, a questioning look showing on the unbandaged parts of his face.

"You gotta tell me the secret of keeping a hot mama like your wife looking at you like that. I mean, I'd kill to have a beautiful woman look at me like she looks at you. How do you do it?"

Jim shrugged his good shoulder, not able to answer. Even if he could talk, he still wouldn't have anything to say; just that he was lucky. But a small, grin teased the corners of his mouth and he felt a slight flush in his face as he contemplated the question. He didn't know why she looked at him like that, but he sure was glad that she did.

The workout had been painful. Phil had worked his arms and legs and then encouraged Jim to push and pull against Phil's grip. His right side responded well but there was none on the left side. Phil had been encouraging, telling Jim that it would have been surprising if he had been able to make his left side work. But he seemed confident that it would come. He left Jim with some small exercises to do occasionally, simple motions to keep the muscles working and the blood circulating.

Jim was trying to make his left hand move when Sofia came back in. She saw his intense concentration and the lack of results. She wanted to cry as she watched him struggle to make something happen. But she knew he couldn't see her sadness. He needed positive thoughts. "So honey, I saw Phil in that hall. He said that whatever the rewards for hard work are, I should give you some."

Jim looked up, startled. And then his face brightened. The puppy look was back. She could almost imagine him panting. Chuckling, she kissed him. "Okay, I'll have to make a mark in my little black book. That's one I owe you."

He reached for and took her hand. Pulling it to his face, he kissed it and then laid it over his heart. A slight sigh escaped him. "I love you too," she said to him. Tears forming in her eyes, she continued. "I love you more than I can say." He held her hand on his heart as he quietly drifted off to sleep. Sofia watched, willing him to get better soon, hoping for the day he would collect the IOUs that he earned through his hard work.

-----------------------------------------------

Seems we are stuck in sad. But severe head injuries take awhile to get over, if ever. Does give us a chance to see how committed Jim and Sofia are to each other:-) Muscle tone is important; please keep yours up by using the little button.


	9. Frustrations

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! Brassfans are the best! Hope you enjoy this one; sorry it took me so long to get it up.

----------------------------------------

Slowly Jim seemed to improve. Moving from ICU into a private room where he could have visitors had Sofia hoping it would help his spirits. Sofia was beginning to worry though; depression was beginning to settle into his eyes. Everyday Phil came to work with him and everyday his right side got stronger. And everyday, there was no response from his left side. They both understood the implications; the longer he didn't respond, the less likely it became that he would.

Then one day she walked into his room after a session with Phil. Jim was sitting in the chair according to doctor's orders; an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon. More if he felt up to it. She noticed an immediate difference in his attitude. There was a twinkle in his eyes she hadn't seen in days. He motioned for his writing pad, which she held for him. _Learned a new trick,_ he wrote.

She smiled. "Are you going to show me?"

He looked down at his left foot. Concentrating, his brow began to furrow. Her eyes followed the trail of his and she watched. Subtlety, almost imperceptibly, his toes began to wiggle. Sofia began to giggle. "Oh, that is a good trick!" She exclaimed. "Can you do it again?" She saw the corners of his mouth turn up a little as he tried to grin. Looking back at his toes, he began to wiggle. His eyes found hers and reflected the obvious glee that he was feeling.

"Well, that's worth a notation in my little book," she laughed. "Big rewards for that trick."

He nodded his head in agreement, his eyes dancing merrily now. Then he looked at his left hand. Concentrating again, he was able to make his thumb twitch. "Well, you are just full of tricks, aren't you?" Sofia covered his left hand with hers, gently rubbing his thumb. He looked back at her face, gazing into her eyes. He exhaled and then for the first time since the beating, he tried to speak. His jaw was still shut, but she was able to understand what he said. "For you," he managed.

"For all of us," she smiled. "I know this is hard, Jim. I know how frightened you are."

He was trying to speak, his eyes revealing the panic that her words made him feel. Her hand went to his lips, "Shhh, it's okay honey. You don't have to be the tough guy with me, remember. You are a part of me, just like I'm a part of you. This scares you and I know why. But you don't have to be afraid, Jim. I'm not going anywhere, no matter what. You understand? And as for you somehow feeling like less of a man….on your worst day you are more man than most men on a good day, And you're the only man I'll ever want. So what I'm saying is this; we're in this together…good and bad. And in case you are thinking some macho bullshit like I'm here out of obligation, then get over it. I'm here because there is no place I'd rather be."

Jim closed his eyes as he soaked in her words. A shudder ran through his body. She had understood his greatest fear; that he wouldn't recover and she'd leave. There were still no guarantees about anything. But at least now, they could talk about it. She understood.

A couple of days later she was with him when his lunch arrived. Jim groaned as the lady put it down. More mush, he thought. He'd kill for a good steak….and the ability to chew it. He sighed and began to "eat."

Sofia smiled and teased. "Just imagine your favorite meal, Jim."

He looked at her, his blue eyes gleaming. Then he pointed at her, "you."

"Hmmm," she grinned salaciously,. "Wonder what the nurse would do if she came in here and witnessed you getting your wish. I think she has the hots for you, you know."

Jim just shook his head. No way the nurse had the hots for him. He wasn't the kind of guy women had the hots for. Sofia tilted her head, watching him, her eyes twinkling. "I mean, it's no surprise I suppose," she began. "You're my favorite piece of eye candy. Other women are bound to enjoy you too."

Jim almost choked on his mush as she said that. Eye candy? He looked at her in disbelief.

"Yeah, I look at you and see a big chunk of white chocolate, decadently tasty….Sweet and delicious, melts in my mouth…and in my hands." Her eyes sparkled as he looked at her, he was somewhere between laughter and awe. He loved her so much and he needed her. Despite his doubts about how fair he was being to her, he had to have her in his life. And he was scared that eventually she would get tired of him or that he would drive her away. After all, he wasn't good with relationships; he had the history to prove it.

They sat in a comfortable silence as he finished his "food." A few minutes later, Phil came in to help Jim back to his bed. "How was the food?" Phil smiled.

Jim grunted his disapproval. Phil chuckled. "It'll get better." He looked at Sofia and then back at Jim. Jim was watching and the comment from Phil about Sofia being a hot mama blazed into his head. Suddenly, without warning, Jim felt a rage boil within him. He swiped his arm across the table top, sending the tray flying, the utensils and vessels clattering to the floor.

Phil looked stunned and Sofia moved towards Jim in shock. His mood had changed so drastically and so quickly. It wasn't like Jim at all to lose control like that. "Jim?'

He glared at her with dark eyes, anger flooding his space. He looked back at Phil and became even more agitated and began pounding the table top. Phil, looking flustered, left saying he was going to get the doctor.

Sofia tried to reach out to Jim but he pushed her hand away. He struggled and finally got a word out, "Bastard!"

Sofia was confused. Why had his mood changed and what was he angry about? Again she tried, "Jim, what's…"

His eyes focused on her. Why was he doing this, he wondered. But he knew the answer. She deserved a younger man, someone whole….not an old cripple like him. "I'm a bastard….marrying you," he managed to say through his closed jaw.

"What?" she asked warily.

"Wrong….shouldn't have…. Bad for you."

"Stop it, Jim! Stop right there. You know that's not true."

"It is….all wrong…"

Sofia was angry now…so angry that she wanted to slap him, bring him to his senses. "Jim, it's like saying all that we have is wrong…even Jeb. You can't really mean that?"

Somewhere in his mind, he knew that he didn't but he was so angry the words came out anyway; "Unfair to him too. Wrong."

Her hand flew up to slap him, her own frustrations overwhelming her. But she stopped herself. "Dammit, Jim…" Afraid that she would hurt him, she turned and fled from the room.

------------------------------------------------

Please review:-)


	10. Reactions

Jim watched as she walked out, his hearted plummeting into his gut. What had he done? Why had he said those things? Where had all the anger come from? Panic gripped him. She had been so angry…he had seen her aborted slap. They rarely argued and neither had ever had ever been that provoked. Jim knew he had hurt her deeply and he didn't know why. Watching the door, instincts told him to follow her. Without thinking, he propelled himself out of the chair and half limping, half dragging his left leg he made his way across the room. It was painful but he was so intent on his mission, he ignored it. Leaning on the door frame he spotted her at the end of the hall, looking out the window. Her shoulders were shaking; he recognized that she was sobbing.

He stepped toward her but his leg gave way and he grabbed the wall, leaning into it for support. "Sofie," he cried out.

She rotated and seeing the desperation in his eyes, she hurried to him. Hugging him, she held on tightly, afraid he would fall. "Jim, how did you…"

"I couldn't let you go…" He looked frightened and lost.

"I've told you Jim, I'm not going anywhere. Let's get you back to the bed though." Just then the nurse walked up and seeing the situation, helped also. Once he was back in the bed and settled. Sofia took his hand in hers. "You drive me nuts, Jim. I wish you could get it through that think skull of yours that you are the only one for me. But I want to know where that rage came from; it's not you."

"Don't know," he answered disconsolately. "Just came over me…."

Dr. Williams walked into the room, the nurse following him. "Barbara tells me you two have had some excitement."

Sofia sighed. "Yes. Jim was fine and then suddenly he got very angry" Her eyes traveled to the evidence still on the floor by the chair. "I'm afraid I lost my cool and left the room. Somehow he managed to follow me."

Williams' eyes followed hers to the spilled tray. Then he looked from Jim to the doorway, smiling. "Well, I had planned to move you to the rehab unit tomorrow. It seems to be an even better idea now." Then looking at Sofia, he grew serious. "We need to talk about the mood swing though."

Sofia shifted her weight, not sure she wanted to hear what he had to say.

"This is another symptom. Severe mood swings and intense anger go with head injuries too, I'm afraid. I thought perhaps we had avoided that one but I suppose the drugs have masked it so far. But we've been slowly weaning you off of them," he said looking at Jim. "This might not be the only episode. As the brain heals, they should subside but I can't give you a time frame. I will caution you….there will be no warning, just like with this episode."

"Damn," Jim groaned.

Later, someone came to clean up Jim's mess. Sofia sat quietly, thinking about all the doctor had said. She would have to be on guard, ready to weather these episodes and respond to his real concerns. But she also knew that in his rage, he was expressing some very real worries. There was truth in his anger; she had known all along that he worried about their age difference and often struggled with the idea that he was being selfish.

Jim was lost in his own thoughts. Seeing the way Phil had looked at her had frightened him on a very basic level. He knew that she didn't care how Phil looked at her, but someday there might be someone… Would he be able to let her go?

She looked across at him and saw the melancholy in his expression. Standing up, she stood next to him, her hand going to his head, gently massaging his scalp. He closed his eyes, leaning in to her touch, relishing the contact. He longed for the comfortable intimacy that they had enjoyed throughout their marriage, usually after sex but not always. Those were the moments that had come to mean so much to him, feeling her body next to his, so totally connected in body and soul.

As she watched his expression soften and his pleasure at her touch increase, she realized how frustrated she was feeling at not being able to get closer. All of this had frightened her so much and she couldn't take her fears to the one person that always knew how to comfort her, Jim. She knew that if she told him how really scared she was for him, his recovery, it would worry him. And he didn't need any more worry, he had enough.

Truth be told, that wasn't her only frustration. Theirs was a very sensual, physical relationship and her body was missing his. Looking at him in the bed, she tilted her head. "Jim…"

He opened his eyes, recognizing the tone in her voice. A small smile tried to break on his face. His eyes questioned her.

"Can you scoot over a little?"

His eyebrows shot up as the blue of his eyes began to sparkle with mischief. Slowly he edged to his left and then naughtily patted the bed beside him. She let down the rail and crawled in next to him. "You know," she said as her hand smoothed his hospital gown, "these gowns have their advantages."

He looked at her impishly, his hand covering hers. "They do?"

"Easy access."

Jim squirmed a little as her implications sank in. As much as he wanted to respond to her, he wasn't sure that he was able. He realized that one of the things driving his frustration was fear that he wouldn't be able to meet her needs, being paralized and all. However, he found it amazing that she was even interested with him in such bad shape.

Sofia looked at his bandaged and bruised face, observing every shade of purple, blue and green that she could imagine. Still, it was a face she loved, the first one she looked for whenever she walked into a room, the first thing she wanted to see each morning and the last thing she wanted to see at night. She loved that face because it was his face and because the eyes revealed him to her. Right now they told her that he was enjoying this closeness. She snuggled into him, his right arm wrapping around her as she rested her head on his shoulder. "Hmmm, I've missed you," she cooed. He sighed, squeezing her lovingly.

The nurse came in later to check his vitals. Surprised to see Sofia in the bed, she stopped and then smiled. Sofia's head was on his shoulder and her hand was on his chest, over his heart. He looked comfortable and content. Sofia opened her eyes and then signaled to Barbara to be quiet. Barbara winked and turned to leave, turning out the lights as she did.

----------------------------

I know you found this short; hope you found it sweet too. The question is, did they or didn't they? ...you know, do IT ;-) I'll let you decide for yourself.

I have more planned, do I write it?


	11. Rehab

A gleeful squeal alerted Jim to the arrival of Jeb. Jim was sitting in a chair, eating his lunch in his new room in the rehab unit when Sofia and Jeb came in. Sofia set the toddler down on the floor and his tiny legs went into overdrive as he raced to his father. Jim just had time to push the tray table out of the way before Jeb hit his lap. Climbing up, he settled quickly in Jim's right arm. Looking at his father's face, Jeb's little one squinched into a grimace. "Daddy, you got a bobo."

A chuckle emerged from Jim's chest through his closed jaw. His eyes showed the amusement and obvious delight with his son.

Do it hurt bad, Daddy?" Jeb's face was full of concern.

Jim shook his head and managed to answer, "A little."

Gingerly Jeb raised his little hand and touched his father's cheek, now grizzly from days of not shaving. "Fuzzy," he giggled. Jim wanted to giggle with him but settled for a grunt. "Puple, brown, lellow…"

"Yeah, Daddy is like a box of crayons, isn't he?" smirked Sofia as she watched her son detail the colors of his father's face. Both guys looked at her, the same happy expression showing in their almost identical steely blue eyes. She gasped and held her breath, trying to mentally catalogue the moment to savor for years.

Her small gasp did not go unnoticed by her husband. Jim looked at her with questioning eyes. "It's okay," she said. "Just one of those moments." Her emphasis on 'those' clued him to her meaning. A small smile formed at the corners of his mouth. "Yeah."

The spell was broken when Phil walked in. He took in the sight of the baby in his patient's lap and chuckled. "Who do we have?" he asked smiling.

Sofia quickly responded with pride, "This is our son, Jeb."

Phil walked over to the pair and held out his hand. "Hello, Jeb. I'm Phil."

Jeb shrunk back into his father's chest, cautious of the stranger. Jim grasped him tightly and mumbled, "Its okay, Jeb." Jeb reluctantly extended his hand to shake Phil's and withdrew it quickly.

Phil looked at Jim. "You still feeling okay after this morning's group session?"

Jim nodded affirmatively. Phil turned to Sofia to explain. "Jim went to a group therapy session this morning. We did some stretches, played ball, and practiced some mirroring. Jim was showing off."

Sofia smirked as she looked lovingly at her spouse. "He often does."

"So Jim," continued Phil. "I'll be back in about an hour to take you down to the 'gym'. We've got some special exercise equipment there. I want to get you able to manage on your own so that you can go home soon."

Jim smiled and looked at Sofia, who was smiling at him. Home, it would be so good to be there; to be able to snuggle with her as they had done last night in the hospital bed. He wouldn't miss out on any more of Jeb and his daily changes. And maybe, just maybe, Jim Brass could begin to feel like a man again.

Phil left, promising again to be back in an hour. Jeb had discovered the chocolate pudding on his dad's plate and was feeding it to Jim, with every other spoonful going to Jeb. Sofia could tell that Jeb's awkward feeding style was causing Jim some pain, but his delight with his son was worth the pain, so she let it continue. Finally the pudding had disappeared from the plate but much of it was smeared over two faces. Sofia couldn't help laughing as she cleaned them up. "Like father, like son…" she quipped.

Jeb settled into Jim's lap, his head resting on his father's chest. As his parents talked…well, mostly his mother talked, Jeb grew quieter, listening to quiet rhythm of their exchanges. His eyes grew heavy as he drifted to sleep in his Daddy's warm embrace.

Phil showed us as promised. Sofia stepped over to Jim, taking Jeb from him. "I'll take him back to Catherine's and come back for dinner with you." She leaned down and tenderly kissed Jim on his cheek. "You work hard for Phil. I want you home soon." Her expression was full of intent, which Jim was pleased to see. He winked at her to let her know that he understood.

The two men watched as Sofia and Jeb left and then Phil turned to Jim. "I'm gonna say it again, man. I wish a beautiful woman would look at me that way she looks at you. The two of you…it's like magic or something."

Phil helped Jim into the wheelchair and they headed down to the rehab gym. The first piece of equipment reminded Jim of a bicycle. It was a wheel with pedals. Phil helped Jim to a chair next to the table and had him put his hands on the pedals. Jim used his right hand to help get his left hand in position. Once his hands were in place, Phil instructed Jim to 'ride the bike' with his hands. At first Phil had the pressure set for an easy ride, letting Jim get the wheel going. As the pedals went round and round, Jim realized that his right arm was doing most of the work. But he could feel it in his left arm too, so it wasn't totally useless. After he'd been 'riding' a few minutes, Phil raised the resistance level a little. Jim looked at him scornfully.

Phil smiled. "No pain, no gain…right?"

Jim scowled as he kept turning the wheel. Sweat broke out on his forehead as he concentrated on trying to make his left arm do more work. He could feel it kicking in and making a few turns but then its strength began to fade. Phil noticed and as the left arm faded, he tuned back the resistance. "Okay, we'll start slowing down now." After a few minutes at the lower setting Phil suggested that Jim wind it down. Slowly he brought the wheel to a stop.

"Okay, good job. You felt it in your left arm, right?"

Jim nodded, rubbing his bicep with his right hand. He was smiling in spite of the hurt; it felt good.

"Okay, now for the fun part. We're going to try the parallel bars. Think you are up for a short stroll?"

They wheeled over to the bars and Phil parked Jim at one end. Jim watched as the therapist busied himself with setting the bars. "Okay Jim, I'm going to have you stand up so I can be sure we have the correct height. We're gearing this toward you being able to use a walker, so I need to get the bars in the right place."

With Phil's assistance, Jim stood at the end, holding onto the bars for support. His left arm was screaming at him, but he was determined to make it work. Phil was satisfied with the level. "Okay, we're going through once with me helping you and depending on how you do, I might have you go once on your own. Ready?"

Jim nodded and adjusted his grip on the bars. Phil slipped the assistance belt around Jim and adjusted it so that he could help Jim with weight distribution. "Okay, let's start with the left foot…"

Jim concentrated on making his foot move. His thigh tightened and his calf muscle hardened as his leg forced his foot forward. He couldn't get it to lift off the ground, but at least it was moving; victory in Jim's mind. "Good!" exclaimed Phil. "Now the right…"

That was easy, except that he had to support himself with his left side now. But he did it. Then he brought his left foot forward again. And slowly, he made his way through the bars with Phil in front of him, assisting. Once he was at the end, Phil looked at him intensely. "I think we'll wait until tomorrow to do it again. You put a lot of effort in this and did great for the first day. Don't want those muscles getting tight on us and slowing down your progress. I'll get the chair and take you over to the table for some stretching and massage. Just hang on til I get here with the chair."

Phil unfastened the assistance belt and headed to the other end to get the chair. As he stepped away, Jim turned in the bars and began to make his way through them again; this time on his own. Phil glanced back at him and barked. "I said let's wait til tomorrow."

Jim grunted and shook his head 'no'. Continuing his effort; he was half way through before Phil got back to him. His head and shirt were soaked in sweat and his grip was slipping from the sweat on his hands. But he was determined to do it. He wanted to go home and he understood that being able to manage on his own was a requirement. Holding that thought uppermost in his mind, he made his left side cooperate. Mental pictures of his family, playing with Jeb and holding Sofia, propelled him forward until he got to the end. Phil was waiting with the chair and quickly helped him into it. "Dammit Jim, that was too much."

Jim shook his head as he tried to breathe. "Not enough…"

Phil wheeled him to the table and helped him onto it. They performed several stretches and then Phil massaged Jim's aching muscles. "Okay Jim, we'll head back to your room. I imagine you're ready for a nap about now."

Once back in his bed, Jim decided that Phil was right. He was ready for a nap. His mind turned to Sofia's visit the night before, when she had climbed into bed with him. She felt so good to him, lying there next to him; warm and comfortable, reassuring. He drifted off filled with a sense of her, warmed by the memory of her next to him.

--------------------------------------------

Anyone still out there? Let me know what you think.


	12. Breaking Out

Rehab continued with Jim improving daily. With Phil's help, he was able to use the walker to get out of bed and into a chair or even better, in Jim's view, take himself to the bathroom. Slowly he was feeling less and less dependent. The outbursts of unexplained anger became less frequent and shorter in duration. Sofia spent most of each day with him but was going home to spend time with Jeb every night. Jim understood the necessity of giving stability to Jeb, but he missed her when she wasn't around; as he felt better and better, his nights became longer and longer. Sofia was feeling much the same; sleeping in their cold, half empty bed was becoming more difficult. She wanted him back with her, where she could see him, touch him as needed.

Thoughts of his homecoming were playing in her head as she walked into his room to find him in an uncontrolled rage. He had thrown the covers from his bed and everything on his table had been upset, magazines and utensils thrown across the room. "Jim?"

He looked at her, his eyes dark with anger. Grunting, he pointed at the walker that sat next to the wall, across the room from him. "You need to get up?" she asked calmly.

"Bathroom," he growled.

As she reached for the walker, she asked another question. "Did you buzz for help?"

He nodded affirmatively. "Won't answer."

Attempting to remain calm on the outside, Sofia was seething on the inside. She moved the walker to him and helped him stand. Once he was positioned on the walker, she walked with him to the bathroom door and reached in to turn on the light. She stood by the door while Jim went in; she wanted to be close if he needed any help. Her mind reeled as she stood there, understanding how helpless and embarrassed he felt at not being able to manage the most basic things of life. What if she hadn't come in just then? How long would he have had to wait? What if no one had come in time to help him before more embarrassment? It was Sofia's turn to be angry.

After she helped him back to the bed, she buzzed again for a nurse. Watching the clock, it was a full five minutes before she got a response. "Can I help you?" a bodiless voice spoke from the speaker.

"Yeah…" she answered.

"What do you need?" the voice asked, tersely.

"You…in here," snapped Sofia.

Jim seemed to be calming down, although he was still somewhat agitated. Sofia picked up the covers and tossed them on the foot of the bed and then put the magazines and utensils back on the table.

Sofia realized that the nurse had walked into the room behind her when she saw the scowl on her husband's face. His eyes were murderous. Sofia turned and said to the woman what she knew Jim wanted to say. "Where the hell have you been?"

'Excuse me?" the nurse snapped back.

"I asked you a question. My husband had been buzzing for help and you didn't answer. What if I hadn't come in? He needed help! He's here for rehab so that he can get stronger and more independent, but in the meantime, he sometimes needs help. That means when he buzzes, you come."

"Well," huffed the woman, "I do have other patients."

"Call his doctor and tell him I want Jim released today. If this is the best you can do, he's out of here."

"Call him yourself," the nurse shot over her shoulder as she walked out.

She heard a rumble from Jim as she pulled out her phone to dial the doctor's number. Expecting to see anger etched into his features, she was surprised to see that Jim was smirking when she turned to look at him. His eyes had lightened considerably and he looked like he wanted to laugh. Tilting her head, she looked at him inquisitively.

"Sexy when you get hot," he said.

"You get those wires out of your mouth and I'll show you hot," she shot back suggestively.

His chest shook as he struggled with laughter. "Get me out of here," he nodded toward the phone.

Sofia dialed the number and left a message for the doctor to call her or stop by Jim's room ASAP. Closing the phone, she bent down and kissed Jim on the cheek. His anger was dissipating but she was still pretty upset. Jim deserved better than this.

An hour later, the doctor appeared in the doorway. "I had a message that you want to talk to me," he said to Sofia.

"I want Jim released today," she said bluntly.

"Are you sure? He's been doing so well in rehab….it will be difficult to continue with his twice a day sessions if he leaves now."

"But there is no medical reason why he should have to stay?"

"Well…no. He is barely using any pain meds. I can give you a prescription, a liquid of course, just in case. But coming in twice a day…it will be tiring."

"Look, he'll be more comfortable at home. And he will get the assistance he needs. Waiting endlessly for someone to come help him to the bathroom is unacceptable. And her attitude was worse."

"What happened?"

Sofia recounted what she had walked in on. Then she told him about her conversation with the woman in question. "But it's time for him to go home anyway. He's ready to start reclaiming his life."

Studying her expression and then looking across at Jim, who was staring back at him, the doctor nodded. "I'll agree on one condition. You hire an in- home caregiver. Jim's still going to need assistance and I understand you have a toddler at home. You can't do it all."

"Deal," smiled Sofia.

"Okay, I'll set the wheels in motion. My office will send over a list of caregivers to help you find a qualified one. And I'll have the rehab people get in touch to set up a schedule. I'll want to see Jim in my office next week."

The newly hired caregiver showed up at Jim's door at 3:00pm. "Hi, I'm Maria Evans," she introduced herself. "I understand that I'll be helping out for a few weeks."

Jim nodded and managed his name between his closed jaws. Sofia introduced herself. "We have a spare room for you. If you'll help me with getting him home, then you can get some things and move in."

"I have a bag in my car. Obviously, I can't be awake 24/7 but it was my understanding that you might need help at any time."

Sofia regarded the woman. She was in her mid 30s, attractive, and well toned. Sofia wasn't entirely comfortable with letting this woman so close to her husband; not that Jim would ever cheat on her. It just felt uncomfortable.

Jim watched as his wife looked at the other woman. He began to chuckle at her expression. It was so obvious what she was thinking. Sofia turned to him and gave him a look that told him he was in trouble. But he chuckled anyway.

Maria saw the exchange between the couple and decided that they needed a few minutes. "I'll go check with the floor nurse and see how long it will be…" she said as she walked out of the room.

"Jim Brass, if I catch you even looking like you are thinking about looking at her, I'll…"

"What?" he teased.

"I'll put you back here with Miss Congeniality."

Jim chuckled again. "Honey, I did look. Can't hold a candle next to you." He winked.

"I know," smiled Sofia, confidently. "But it just feels a little….wierd."

Jim was amused by her reaction. I tickled him that she could still feel a little jealousy. She had to know that there's no way he'd ever really look at another woman. She was everything to him…she and Jeb. But it did give him a little boost that Sofia thought he might be attractive to another woman. Besides the mischievous side of him was already contemplating the fun he would have teasing her with it.

--------------------------------------------------

Sorry it is taking so long for updates. Hopefully my at work hours will get back to normal soon and I can be a little quicker. Anyway, hope you are still enjoying. Please keep those cards and letters coming, folks! I do appreciate all the support.


	13. Getting Back to Normal

Maria helped Sofia get Jim settled into her car and then Maria followed Sofia to their house, where the process was reversed. Once inside the two women helped him to the bedroom and tucked him in snugly for a nap. Then Sofia showed Maria the room across the hall where she would stay and Maria brought in her bag and began to arrange her things.

Sofia stepped into the hall and peeked into their bedroom to see Jim watching the door. When he saw her, a smile broke out on his face. She walked in quietly. "You are supposed to be napping," she said softly.

He patted the bed next to him, indicating for her to join him. She chuckled as she made her way across the room to him. "You might not get any sleep that way."

"That's okay too," he muttered. "You give me peace."

As she settled on the bed next to him, she stared into his expressive blue eyes. "Jim, that's the most beautiful thing you've ever said to me," she whispered.

He held out his right arm to gather her into him and soon her head was resting on his shoulder. "I've missed you so much," she whispered. He squeezed her and kissed the top of her head, his hand absent mindedly stroking her arm as it lay over his chest. She felt the rhythm of his breathing and the listened to his heartbeat, happy to simply have him home.

Holding her like this made Jim feel like things were almost normal again. He wanted to do more than hold her, but he knew that where the imagination was willing, the body wasn't ready yet. But holding her reassured him that the 'more' would come sooner rather than later. For now, just having her so close was enough….more than enough. He savored the feel of her beneath his fingers and the smell of her hair near his face. The warmth of her body next to his provided so much more than just physical warmth; it nourished his soul. He was going to be okay after all. "Love you," he whispered into her hair with a gentleness that the moment demanded.

Contentedly, she moaned softly, her hand gently passing over his chest, her fingers aimlessly caressing him. "Go to sleep, my love. I'll be here when you wake up."

She was indeed still there when he woke. Apparently she had drifted into a nap with him. Someone had thrown an afghan over her; Maria probably. He lay there, listening to her breathing and relishing the feel of her, still in the crook of his arm. In his estimation, there was no better way to wake up.

He heard a sound from the hall and looked up to see Maria peeking in. She smiled and whispered, "just checking up on you."

He motioned for her to come in. I need to get to the bathroom," he whispered, not wanting to wake Sofia. Maria nodded and brought the walker close to the bed. Somehow he managed to disentangle himself from his Sleeping Beauty but couldn't figure out how to sit up without disturbing her. The point became moot, however, as she began to stir. Opening her eyes, she realized what Jim was attempting and sat up. As he moved his legs to the side of the bed and sat up to position himself for the walker. Sofia started to get up but Maria stopped her. "It's okay; I'll help him get to the bathroom. You rest a little while longer."

Sofia settled back into the bed as she watched Jim make his way across the room with the walker. Maria walked a long with him, just in case. Sofia had to admit that she was feeling pride for her husband just then. He had worked hard in his therapy and this was the result. He wasn't all back but he walked better every day.

Later, after Jim was back in the bed, Sofia made her way to the kitchen to prepare supper for them. Actually, she was preparing several suppers; there was the one she fixed for Jeb and then the one she would prepare for Jim. Since he couldn't chew, everything had to be liquid or close to it. And then, Sofia decided to make a salad and soup for Maria and herself. Maria made her way into the kitchen about then. "I hope soup and salad will be okay for supper," Sofia said.

"Sounds good," answered Maria. "Jim might like the soup too but of course the salad would be difficult."

"Yeah…" agreed Sofia surprised that she hadn't considered the soup for him. She was going to puree some vegetables and make a shake for him, but he might appreciate eating 'normal' food. "Thanks Maria. I know it will help him feel more like normal."

"Look, as long as we're talking about his care here….I'm going to offer something that experience has taught me."

Sofia stopped what she was doing and looked sideways at the other woman. "Okay…"

"Let me do all the personal care stuff, especially the trips to the bathroom. I've found that most men don't like feeling so dependent and they really don't like it when they think their wives see them that way. To him, you having to help him to the bathroom is like you helping Jeb with his potty training. In their messed up little minds, it makes them feel less like men. He needs you to see him as the man he has always been."

Sofia thought about Maria's advice. "I understand," she said slowly. But occasionally I am going to help him with bathing… if you get my drift," she said suggestively.

Maria smiled. "And I heard you talking at the hospital about him looking twice at me. Just to put your mind at ease…I'm gay. I'd be more likely to be interested in you than him. But I'm cool with it if you want to tease him about me being interested in him."

Sofia chuckled. "I might. He uses humor to deal with things. We'll see…." The two women were quiet a moment as they quietly entered an agreement about who would be in charge of the different aspects of his recovery. Then Sofia asked, "do you think it might be good for him to eat at the table? You know, a real sit down dinner…"

"Good idea. I think he's up to it. It'll help with that being normal thing."

Sofia put the soup on simmer as she fed Jeb. He was gleeful to have both his Mommy and his Daddy at home. And he was home too. He'd been spending a lot of time at the Willows house. As the toddler finished eating, Maria walked in and suggested that she take Jeb and give him a bath while Sofia and Jim have dinner. "It'll give you two some time alone together in a normal couple kind of way," she offered.

Sofia smiled. "I like the way you think." Having Maria around was proving to be a good thing.

-------------------------------------------

Still good? What next? More happy, more angst, steamy stuff? Input please.


	14. Freedom

Dinner was served by candlelight. Sofia wanted to make his first dinner at home special…memorable, even if it was just soup. She saw the light in his eyes as he came into the room and took in the setting. He stopped at the table and looked from it to her. "Is the violinist late or something?" he quipped.

"No violinist, but I'm hoping that soon we'll be making music of our own," she smiled. Her own eyes twinkled in the candlelight.

"Music? That's what you're calling it these days…." He smirked. Then he grew more serious. "Baby, there's nothing I want more than to go _tremolo_ over your strings, but my bow is in for repairs right now."

She stepped to him, her hand gingerly stroking the side of his face. "Its okay Jim," she said softly. "For now, the music is _adagio, con amore. _Eventually we'll get to the crescendo, _con fuoco…molto espressione, con slancio_."

His eyes had closed when she touched him, his senses focusing on the feel of her touch. As he listened to her, he was thankful that he had paid attention when she drug him to the symphony and other classical music performances. He actually understood most of what she said. "_Con slancio_?" The last term lost him.

"With enthusiasm," she whispered.

He opened his eyes to gaze into her promise filled blue ones. Suddenly the kitchen grew very hot. Something was simmering and it wasn't the soup. He wanted to make her pot boil over, but he was afraid that his torch wasn't capable of throwing that much heat. And, he had to admit to himself, he was afraid he might hurt something. The doctor hadn't said anything about when he could resume sexual activity, but then he hadn't asked either. Right now he was feeling it, though.

Sofia saw his change of demeanor and the subtle change in eye color as they went smoky. She knew what he wanted and she suspected his fear. As much as she wanted to act on what they both were feeling, she was determined to let him lead. When it happened, and she had no doubt that it would, it had to happen naturally and not be forced.

They ate quietly, flirting with their eyes over steaming bowls. Jeb bounded into the room just as they finished. Seeing his Daddy sitting in the chair, he toddled to him. "Daddy," he exclaimed. Jim pulled the boy into his lap and held him close, looking over his son's head at his mother. Sofia felt the intensity of his gaze and looked into his eyes, which revealed so much. He was happy to be holding his son but disappointed that their mood had been broken. The light that shone in his eyes was lust, pure and simple and her body immediately responded to it. Always the detective, he read her response. A small smirk worked the corners of his mouth as he nodded his head.

Life fell into a routine of PT sessions, doctor's appointments, periods of rest and an early bedtime in the Brass home. Both Brasses came to trust and depend on Maria for her help with the Brass men, although Jim needed less and less assistance every day. Finally the day came when his surgeon freed his jaw from its confines and he could move his mouth again. It was stiff and felt awkward, but he was elated. They celebrated with a meal that included solid food. "I never knew chewing could be so pleasurable," he said as he all but inhaled a small steak.

His PT was scheduled to end in three days also. His doctor believed the PT had done all it could do for him and it now was simply a matter of time before he was back to normal. At that appointment, he self consciously asked about marital relations.

The doctor chuckled. "You mean…you haven't already?" Shaking his head, he looked surprised. "I assumed nature had taken its course and that's why you hadn't asked the question before."

Jim smiled shyly. "I, um…I was afraid that something might go wrong…you know?"

The other man looked at him, understanding where his fear came from. "Jim, if you feel like it, then do it. That's my best medical advice for you at this time. And I mean that about everything; well, probably don't want to bump the head again anytime soon. But get out, do things, and then go home and take your wife to bed. I'm sure it will be good medicine for both of you." The doctor thought about the couple. He had seen many spouses help each other through a medical crisis but he had never seen two people more in tune. "You are a lucky man, Jim. Your wife knows just when and how to encourage you and then slow you down. I envy you, having someone so in tune with your needs."

Jim looked at the doc frankly. "Yeah, I am lucky, very lucky. And I thank heaven every day for her and marvel that she is with me."

Maria had driven him to the appointment and was waiting in the outer office. Jim stood to walk out the door but the doc spoke. "One last thing, Jim."

Jim turned to look at him as he finished. "When you get home, ditch that thing," he said pointing at the crutch he was using. "I want to see you back here in two weeks. And after that, I don't ever want to see you in here again." The man was smiling.

Jim agreed and thanked him. Yeah, he thought as he walked out to find Maria, everything is going to be okay.

That night Maria suggested that she stay with Jeb and that they go out. "In fact," she suggested to Sofia, "why don't you pack a little bag and you and Jim take a hotel room. Make a real romantic night of it."

Sofia looked at the woman and smiled salaciously." Oh Maria, I really do like the way you think."

---------------------------------------------

I have one more chapter in mind. But I have a thought for more beyond that if there is still interest. It would be more heartbreak and angst. Let me know what you think:-)


	15. Date Night

Jim Brass felt jubilant as he walked through Andres with Sofia. He saw the way other men looked at her. And as always, it made him proud. He knew that he shouldn't feel that way, but he couldn't help but be a little gleeful that all the men in the room envied him. Of course, part of his glee was that tonight was going to be _the night_. After a nice dinner he was going to take his wife home and bed her. His swagger was full of confidence and insinuated that this was a man that was about to score.

Sofia was smiling, trying not to giggle outright. Jim was so full of himself that he was about to pop. She knew exactly what he was thinking. What he didn't know was that she had a room reserved for them and there would be no going home tonight. After dinner, she was taking him upstairs to bed him. They had waited long enough.

After they were seated and looked at the menus, they ordered. Jim was having the Jumbo Crab Cake, Lobster Bisque with a Caesar Salad, and the Filet Mignon as his entrée. Sofia chose Escargots, Vichyssoise and Mélange of Field Greens, and the Seafood Risotto as her entrée. They elected to forego dessert with Jim making a comment about watching his waistline. Sofia smirked.

"Wouldn't want to lose my girlish figure," he jested.

"Right, after ordering steak…" she giggled. She looked down and then her eyes glanced back up at him, flirting. He smiled at her, his eyes not leaving her face until the waiter brought their wine. They took their time moving through the courses of the meal, chatting, flirting and simply enjoying each other.

Finally Sofia approached the purpose of the evening. "Jim, I haven't pressed you but I think the time has come."

"Time for what, baby?" he asked, his smoky eyes glistening.

"Us. You needed time to recover and I know you were a little afraid for awhile but now its time. I hope you aren't expecting much sleep tonight."

His eyes widened and he smiled. "I was afraid. I wasn't sure that I could …well, you know…perform. But the doc says just do it."

"Smart man, the doc." She paused, her eyes revealing what she was thinking. "So, after dinner, we'll?"

"Depends on how fast you drive, honey."

"Oh…..I can't wait that long. We have a room upstairs, just waiting."

A wicked smile crept over him, encompassing his whole face. No one in the room doubted how the night would end for the couple in the corner.

After dinner they made their way upstairs. Jim had retrieved their bag from the car. "I don't know why we need it," he growled. "Its not like we'll be wearing any clothes anyway."

Sofia laughed. "Just get the bag, Jim."

They were alone in the elevator as they rode up. Consequently the only witness to their frenzied make out session was the security camera and the guys in the room watching. Sofia made sure they got an eyeful.

Once inside the room, she ran her hands inside Jim's jacket, working it off his shoulders and then began on the buttons to his shirt. He was too busy to help her, however; his hands were moving all around her body and his lips were all over her face and neck, devouring her. "You been teasing and tantalizing me for weeks you little flirt; tonight you're gonna find out what you been doing to me."

She laughed. "Look who's talking about teasing. You've been undressing me with your eyes for days," she retorted. "And I intend to do a lot more to you than tease." She freed him from his shirt and went to work on his trousers. Before she got very far, he scooped her up and carried her to the bed. "Jim," she cried out. "Should you be dong that?"

"Just for that," he chuckled as he dropped her on the bed. "I was going to put you down gently, but…." Then he fell on the bed next to her and renewed his assault on her body.

"God Jim, you can be such a Neanderthal at times," she laughed again.

"And you love it," he chortled.

Their love making was slow, but intense; all the fears of the past few weeks falling away in the fire of their passion for one another. Each reveled in the other until two bodies and souls merged together as one; complete in the perfection of the moment.

Once the fire was extinguished and their bodies began to cool, Jim held her close to him, still in need of her. He would always need her, he knew that. She was a part of him. Without her, life would be something to be endured but not really lived. And lying with her now, it was to be celebrated.

Sofia was having similar thoughts and feelings. "Jim," she murmured as her fingers lazily played in the hairs on his chest. "I was so afraid."

"Afraid? Of tonight?" He asked in soft, gentle tones.

"That tonight would never happen. When you were in the hospital, especially at the beginning…I was so scared I had lost you. And when the mood swings started; you were just so different. I was afraid that you were changed forever; that I wouldn't know you anymore."

Jim thought about what she had said. "Yeah baby, when I would get so angry, it felt like I was different. I just couldn't stop myself. And I was scared too. Scared that I was so messed up that you wouldn't...couldn't love me anymore. I would have been lost if …."

"Don't ever think that, Jim. Don't ever think that I don't love you. To stop loving you would be to stop breathing for me. Even if you…" she fought for air to continue; her heart and lungs felt as though they were being crushed by her thoughts. "Even if you had …died, I would still love you."

Jim held her tightly. "But I didn't die. And you gave me the strength to fight my way through it. Here with you now, I feel …healed." There was no way to hold her close enough, tightly enough. How do you physically complete the connection that your heart and soul have already formed with another? But in that moment it was all that he wanted. Jim realized that his physical need for her had nothing to do with sex, not that he was capable of another round just then anyway. He pulled the covers closer around them, forming a tight cocoon that sheltered their existence as one; it was the best he could do.

Sofia tried to burrow deeper into his body. Her head rested on his chest and she listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. "Mmmm, I wish we could stay like this forever"

They awoke the in the morning as they had fallen asleep, cozy in their cocoon and entwined with each other. Neither wanted to move for fear of losing all that they were feeling, but eventually the combination of stiff muscles and nature's call forced them apart.

Sofia called room service for a light breakfast while Jim showered. The order arrived while she was in the shower. They ate in contented silence, their eyes and hands in constant contact. Reluctantly they packed their bag and left the room, stepping back into the reality of life.

------------------------------------------------

Happy Valentine's Day! Hope you enjoyed Jim and Sofia's little interlude.


	16. Twisting

Okay, you guys wanted more angst and grief in Jim's life...here goes!

--------------------------------------------------

With Jim doing so well, Sofia went back to work. She took second shift until he was ready to return, then they would arrange their schedules so that one on them would always be there for Jeb, just as things had been before the beating. Maria was so wonderful with Jeb that they had asked her to stay, thinking that they could work the same schedule and have more time together. Maria declined, however, saying there were sick people that needed her and there were no more sick people in the Brass home. Her last day was scheduled for Friday.

On Thursday, the Sheriff's office called to arrange an appointment for Jim the next day. The Sheriff wanted to see him. He tried to explain that he doctor hadn't released him for work yet so the meeting was a little premature. And shouldn't he be talking to H.R. anyway?

"You don't understand, Captain Brass," said the secretary. "This isn't about when you will be coming back."

Her tone made him uneasy; this meeting sounded ominous. He shared his uneasiness with Sofia when she got home that night. "Jim," she reminded him, "most of your problems with the Sheriff's office were years ago…with Brian Mobley. You got along well with Atwater, for the most part. And Burdick thinks you are a hero."

"He didn't think I was so heroic when I shot Bell," Jim stated flatly. Sofia could still hear the pain in his voice, however. Jim still hadn't been able to forgive himself.

"No, but you made his P.D. look awfully good when you took that bullet from Cutter and now, you're just coming back from a beating while taking a beating to save the other victims in a robbery. He's up for reelection so he probably wants a media event around your return to duty."

"Yeah…maybe," he said, still unconvinced.

Sofia had already left for her shift the next day when Jim got ready for his meeting. Maria was watching Jeb. He fidgeted as he waited in the Sheriff's outer office. Finally the secretary told him that he could go in. The two men shook hands and the Burdick indicated that Jim sit in a chair in the area of office that was arranged for casual chat. Burdick sat in a matching leather chair. "I'll cut to the chase here Jim," he began. "I've been reviewing your file."

Jim tried not to let his unease show, but suddenly the collar of his shirt seemed too tight. He sat quietly for the boom to be lowered.

"And I've also heard form your doctors. Jim," The Sheriff at least looked at him when he talked, "they don't want you back on the streets." Jim sighed deeply, preparing himself for what would come next. "And I agree that you shouldn't be there any longer. But my reasons are different." Sheriff Burdick paused, increasing Jim's agony. "Jim I think Brian Mobley was an idiot when he bounced you out of CSI. What happened with Holly Gribbs …it was tragic. And you did what any good supervisor does, you took the heat. Mobley shouldn't have shut down your career with it."

"I, um…appreciate that Sheriff." Jim said uncomfortably.

"You were up for a promotion then weren't you? McKean's job, wasn't it?"

"That was my understanding…yes."

"Jim, McKean is retiring in a couple of months. I want you in his office."

Jim looked at him incredulously. He shifted in his chair as Burdick's words sank in. The promotion that had been snatched from him eight years before was being offered again…not at all how he expected the meeting to go. "Well…um, thank you."

"There's a catch though, Jim. Your wife, Sofia. I've overlooked the situation because you were working different shifts. But as the Under-Sheriff, you'll have a supervisory role over her. She'll have to resign."

"Ouch," said Jim as he grimaced. "I don't know Sheriff; I can't ask her to give up her career. It wouldn't be fair to her."

"Tell you what, Jim…go home and talk it over with her. But I want you to understand, I can't authorize you as fit for duty back in your old job….not with the doctor's reports. They say you can't sustain another serious blow to the head anytime soon. And we know injury is always a possibility."

Jim sighed deeply. "I'll have an answer for you on Monday," he said, chagrinned.

As he headed home, his mind was reeling. There was no way he was going to suggest to Sofie that she quit. But then, what the hell was he going to do? He pulled into his driveway, locked his car and walked toward the front door. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck bristle as his senses told him that something was terribly wrong. The door was ajar. Carefully he eased it open and entered. A table near the door was overturned and he saw where a vase on an end table was knocked over in the living room. Jim called 911 and then proceeded to search the house. Checking each room, his heart rose to his throat as he realized that Maria and Jeb were missing.

At the PD, Sofia heard that a call had come in from Jim. She rushed home; worried that something had happened to him. When she got home, she found him standing beside his car, in the midst of a quiet panic. Gil Grissom and Warrick Brown arrived just behind her. They went into the house looking for clues.

Sofia looked at Jim as he tried to tell her. How could he tell her that their son w as gone? "Honey…I got home and the door was ajar. Baby….they aren't here. I can't find Jeb anywhere." His self control broke as he watched horror explode in Sofia's features. Tears flowed from both of them as she stared at him. "Jeb…missing?" she asked meekly.

Inhaling deeply to try to regain some control, he nodded. "I searched the house…I…"

His arms shot out to catch her as she fell into him, burying her face into his chest. Holding her closely, he felt her sobs against his body. Fear blanketed both of them as they waited for news, clinging tightly to each other. At times, Jim became agitated, wanting to do something to aid the investigation but he knew he could help Sofia more than he could help the investigation. He trusted Gil and Rick to do everything possible to find his son. Sam Vega was the detective of record. He would give it everything too. Jim just prayed that it would be enough. And Jim didn't consider himself a praying man.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, you think things are bad, eh...just wait. Reviews are requested.


	17. Phone Calls

After several hours the house was clear except for Gil and Sam. Rick had taken the evidence back to the lab for processing. Gil would follow soon, but he and Sam had a few more questions. They wanted to know more about Maria. Sofia and Jim answered their questions and gave them the name of the service that she had been hired through.

As the two investigators prepared to leave, Vega turned to the couple. "You guys gonna be okay? I mean…here alone."

Jim looked at Sofia and sighed. "Yeah, we appreciate your concern but actually, I think we need a little time alone."

Sam nodded his head as Gil responded. "Call if you need anything…"

Jim smiled weakly. That was about as far as Gil ever went with reaching out to others. The detective appreciated his friend's effort to be supportive. "Just find my boy," Jim whispered.

Just as they were walking out, the phone rang. Jim picked up the receiver, "Hello?"

"Captain Brass?"

"Yeah, this is Jim Brass…."

"I have your family."

Jim snapped his fingers to draw the attention of the others and waved them closer. "_You_ have them?" he restated.

"Yeah…your beautiful wife and your little boy. He keeps calling for his Daddy."

"Let me talk to her…them." Jim heard some noises as the phone was being adjusted. Then Maria's voice came over the line.

"Jim?"

"Yeah….you and Jeb, did they hurt you?"

"Ah…no….plenty scared but not hurt. Please…they have demands….please do what they say."

"Um, of course….look hon, do what you need to do to keep you and Jeb safe, okay? I'll do everything I can do…"

More noises and then the first voice was back. "So, we're clear. I have your family."

"Yeah…what do you want?"

"Your daughter Ellie, she has something that belongs to me. I want it back."

"Ellie? It's been awhile since I talked to her…."

"You have until tomorrow to talk to her. I'll call back tomorrow."

"Yeah…but…what is it she has….so I can tell her, you know."

"Oh, she'll know."

"Okay. Um…when you call back….I want to talk to Ma…my wife again. Everytime you call, I want to talk to them."

"Hey, you're not running this show; I am."

"Right, and I'll cooperate as long as I'm sure they are okay."

The line went dead as the caller hung up. Jim replaced the receiver on the phone and sucked in a deep breath. His hand was shaking, Sofia noticed.

"He thinks Maria is Sofie. Hopefully she plays along. This has something to do with Ellie. I have to find her…find out what this is about."

Sofia looked at Jim expectantly. "Jim….Jeb?"

He pulled her into a hug. "Maria said he's okay. Scared…they both are, but okay." He felt her relax a little in his arms.

Sam Vega was on his cell, calling for a tap on Jim's phone, as well as recording gear. Gil looked deep in thought. "Do you know how to find Ellie, Jim?"

Jim sighed. "I have a number for her. But is she doesn't want to answer…."

Gil looked at him solemnly. "Didn't you say you have a friend in the department out there?"

"Yeah, and I'll call her. But I'm going to try Ellie on my own first."

"Okay," said Sam as he came back into the room. "We're set for audio surveillance. Should be all set up in a couple of hours."

"Thanks, Sam" said Sofia. Then she looked at Jim. "Ready to make your call?"

Looking like he was facing an execution, Jim pulled out his cell and hit the speed dial on Ellie's number. As always, hope swelled in him as he listened to the rings. There was a greater urgency this time though. Lives depended on him finding her, including hers.

He wasn't surprised when he got her answering machine. "Ellie, honey…its Dad. Look, call me ASAP. It is really important. Your life and the lives of others depend on you calling me. Please honey, call me."

He ended the call and dialed another number. "Yeah Nancy…it's Jim." There was a pause as he listened. "No…don't hang up, please. It's about Ellie." Another pause as frustration passed over his features. "Look, she's in danger…and two other people are in danger because of her." More frustration as he paused to listen. "No, it has nothing to do with my job. She's into something big….and really bad and now lives are threatened because of it. I have to find her, before it is too late."

Everyone in the room could hear the other voice on Jim's phone and even though they couldn't understand the words, they understood what was being said. He was being berated for every bad thing that had ever happened in the lives of the Brass women. He waited for the tirade to end and simply said. "Look, if she happens to call you….tell her to call me, okay?"

And then he made his third call. "Hi Annie, it's Jim. Look, I really need your help on something…"

As he hung up from that call, he looked at Sofia. "Annie's going to try to track her down. She'll call as soon as she knows anything."

Then he looked at the other two. "I really feel like I'm cuffed here. I could get to Ellie so much easier if I were in LA." He saw the expression on their faces and put up his hand. "I know, I know …I have to be here to answer the phone."

As they left, Gil paused and looked at Jim. "We're going to find them."

"Yeah, I just hope they are alive when you do," he said sadly.

As soon as the two investigators left, Sofia collapsed on the couch in tears. Jim sat next to her, holding her in his arms, tears running down his cheeks too. "Sofie, I'm sorry…"

Sofia looked into his dark, anguish filled eyes and realized he was blaming himself. "Jim," she managed between the tears, "you have nothing to be sorry for."

"Ellie caused all this…if…"

"Stop right there Jim. You aren't responsible for her choices. I'm angry…angry as hell at her for putting this all in motion. But I doubt that she ever considered that her mess might spill over into your life. And her bad judgment is certainly not your fault!" Watching him, she knew he was unconvinced. His relationship with his daughter was such a complicated mess, a disaster that was started by his ex when she cheated on him and got pregnant. It was as if Ellie was the personification of all the hurt, anger, and anguish of the relationship between her parents. But she was an adult now, making her own decisions and there was as no way Sofia would let him blame himself; his mistake had been to love and trust the wrong woman and now he was paying the price. She wasn't going to add to his grief by placing any blame except where it belonged, with the kidnapper.

Jim appreciated that she didn't blame him. Hell, he _needed_ her to not blame him because he needed her. But he still blamed himself; maybe if he'd been a better father…. And now he was failing as a father again. Wasn't he supposed to be able to keep his family safe? Wasn't that one of the biggest jobs a father had?

Sofia knew he was collapsing on the inside, just as she had been a few minutes before. She wrapped him in her embrace, feeling a shudder run through his body as he fought to hold back the sobs that were building within him.

"We'll get him back, Sofie. I promise," he said. "We'll get him back no matter what it takes."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Enough drama/angst/hurt? There's more. Use the little button to let me know what you are thinking, please.


	18. Climbing the Walls

In this chapter we will find out who the real fans of Paul Guilfoyle are, lol. You hard core PG addicts will recognize some things from his past. Please, enjoy.

-------------------------------------------------

Jim and Sofia went through the motions of normal life out of habit. She cooked supper, even though neither felt like eating. He helped her clean up, though neither cared if the dishes were clean or not. After the kitchen was clean, he flipped on a hockey game but couldn't have told anyone who the teams were and had no clue about the score. She seemed to be reading a magazine but the page hadn't turned in half an hour. Both jumped when his cell phone rang.

"Brass," he answered.

"Jim, it's Annie."

"Yeah…did you find her?"

"I went over to her place…no sign of her and her neighbors haven't seen her in several days."

"Damn."

"Jim...you ever hear of Nicky Thermopolis?"

Jim frowned. "Name sounds familiar…."

"What about Frankie Salvino?"

"Ah…yeah, I think she was a mule for him for awhile." He didn't really want to think about what she was involved in now, but he had to get a line on Ellie. Both of his children's lives depended on it.

"Well…Thermopolis is one of the biggest weapons dealers on the West Coast. Word is that he had a shipment stolen a couple of days ago and that Frankie was behind it. One of Frankie's guys was found in a dumpster a block away from Ellie's usual corner."

"So, you think Ellie saw something?" He was feeling a little queasy.

"Jim, I think she was in on the heist. Why else would she have something that the kidnapper wants?"

"You think it is Thermopolis that has Jeb and Maria." Fear gripped him. Gun dealers were usually cold and vicious.

"Yeah, I do. But they are probably still in Vegas. No sense bringing them back here. We're looking for all the players and will tail them as soon as we get a fix on them. I'll stay in touch."

"Okay, thanks Annie."

He closed his phone and looked across at Sofia, who was watching him nervously. "It ain't good, baby." Then he shared what Annie had told him, watching her go pale as the new information settled in.

"So Annie thinks Thermopolis' people have them?"

"Yeah." Right now he felt like he could strangle Ellie, if she were in the room. That feeling was mixed with extreme fear for her. And Jeb…he was too little to even know what was happening. They had to get to him before the unthinkable happened. Otherwise he'd never be able to look at Sofia in the eyes again, nor would he be able to look at himself in the mirror.

Sofia was in a horror scenario of her own. These were brutal people that had her son. Annie's news shook her to the core. Looking across at her husband she whispered, "Jim if Ellie survives this, I'm going to kill her."

Jim looked in her eyes and saw how dogged she looked. She meant it. "I understand," he responded through a clenched jaw.

Each retreated into their own thoughts for a few minutes until Jim glanced at her again and saw the tears creeping down her cheeks. He moved to the couch to sit next to her and gathered her in his arms. At his touch, her flood gates opened and she began to cry in earnest. He began rocking her, stroking her hair, and whispering to her that they would find Jeb in time. Jim Brass had never felt so helpless in his life and it frustrated him.

They stayed together on the couch for awhile. Her sobs quieted but was replaced by tremors. Jim had never seen her like this and it frightened him. He felt shattered and he wasn't sure if it was Jeb's kidnapping or Sofia's response that had him more shook up. The combined effect was tearing him apart. More and more he felt the need to _do _something. This sitting around waiting for news had him climbing the walls, but he knew he had to stay by the phone.

Sofia was so angry at Ellie. There was so much she wanted to say but she held her tongue. The girl was Jim's daughter and no matter how screwed up she was, Jim loved her. As her sobs subsided she began to think of how awful he must be feeling. His eldest had set things in motion that led to Jeb being nabbed. Jim had to be afraid for both of them and disappointed in Ellie. Ellie being in trouble usually led to him kicking himself for not being a better father and now her trouble was hurting all of them. Sofia shook when she thought of what this was doing to him….and worse, how he would feel if either child got hurt. Fear for her son and fear for her husband had her on the edge. Like Jim, she felt the need to do something.

Feeling the tenseness in his body, she realized something else. "Jim, you have to be exhausted. You haven't gotten all of your stamina back since the beating. Why don't we go lie down and try to rest?"

She felt him take a deep breath and then swallow. "Okay," he whispered. "But only if you lie down with me…"

"Of course." She squeezed his hand as she stood up. "I need you to hold me anyway."

They walked to their bedroom and stretched out. She snuggled next to him as he wrapped his arm around her and held her closely. Both were tense, tired, and worried about the other. Each felt the need to stay strong in support of the other, afraid to allow their own emotions free rein. And each found comfort in the warmth of the other.

After an hour of lying down but not really resting, they jumped when the phone rang.

"Jim, it's Gil. Warrick is with me and we are headed for L.A. I need you to give me contact information for your friend out there and also anything you can tell me about Ellie…where she lives, hangs out, friends…."

"Gil….ah, you're on your way now?"

"Yeah, Warrick and I started talking and realized that he had a pretty good rapport with her before. And I think she and I did okay too. Besides I know L.A. and still have a few contacts there. Since you can't leave your phone, we decided to go for you."

"That's…that's great. But what did Ecklie say?"

"I don't know. I just told him we were going and left before he said anything. Is that a problem?"

"Well, not for me…." Jim was amazed at what his friends had just done. They put their careers on the line for him. He gave them all the contact info and told Gil everything he could remember about Ellie, including the corner she usually worked. "Look, I really appreciate what you are doing for me…and for Sofie. Tell Rick, okay?"

"Yeah…but …we had to do it Jim. If we can't use our training to help people we care about, well…it isn't worth much."

"Yeah…well, we owe you two big."

"You can invite us to Jeb's birthday partying a few months."

"Consider it done."

Jim hung up the receiver and turned to Sofia, who was listening with anticipation. "We've got good friends, ya know?"

"We do…but?"

"Gil and Rick are on their way to L.A. to help find Ellie."

"I'll bet Ecklie shit a brick when they told him they were going."

"He probably did, but Gil said they didn't hang around to get his response. They just told him and left."

"Wow." A faint smile teased the corner of her mouth. "I can imagine his reaction to that."

"Yeah." Jim took her in his arms again. "You know….somehow I feel a little more hopeful with Gil and Rick going after Ellie." Sofia nodded in agreement as they settled back into the bed, his arms still around her. It would be a long night, he knew; but things seemed a little less bleak now.

-----------------------------------------------------

TBC???? Push the little button:-)


	19. Cousin Vinnie

Once they got to L.A. Warrick called Annie Kramer, reintroduced himself, and arranged to meet her at the PD.

Gil called one of his friends from when he was in the coroner's office so many years ago.

"Hey Sid, Gil Grissom."

"Gil," the other man responded surprised. "Long time…"

"Yeah. Look I need your help on something…"

"What's going on Gil?"

Grissom explained why he was in L.A. and told his L.A. counterpart what he needed.

Sid agreed to help once Gil had the evidence for processing. After he hung up, Gil went across the hotel hallway to Rick's room.

"Hey, it's all set on the CSI side. Did you find Jim's friend?"

"Yeah. We meet in an hour at the PD."

"Okay, well…let's grab a bite to eat and head down…."

Back in Vegas, Sam Vega was busy too. Every cop at LVPD was questioning their sources, looking for information that Frankie Salvino or Nicky Thermopolis might have people in Vegas. Finally one of the uniforms, Angelo Martin, turned something up. He called Vega with an address.

Vega called for backup and headed over. As they surrounded the small motel, His phone rang and it was Nick from CSI.

"Hey Vega," said the Texan. "I got a hit on one of those sets of prints form Jim's house. It matches Vince Mason. He's in the system in New York for a drug bust back in the 80's. Current address has him in New Jersey. But he does have connections with Salvino's crowd."

"Thanks Nick," replied the detective just before he got to the door of room 213. Hearing no response, they charged in. There on the bed, covered in blood was one Vince Mason, the guy they were looking for. Sam called it in and Catherine Willows got the call at CSI. Knowing it was related to Jeb's case, she headed straight over.

Sam filled her in as she arrived at the scene. "He's Vince Mason, small operator originally from New York. Mostly an odd jobs kind of guy. Anyway, this is how we found him."

Catherine began her inspection of the room as David finished his exam of the body. Just then Ronnie Lake hustled in. She's been called away from another scene to assist here. Catherine pointed and immediately Ronnie went to work.

Sam pulled out his phone to call Jim. "Brass," Jim answered the phone a little too quickly.

"Jim, it's Sam. Ever heard of a Vince Mason?"

"Ah…well yeah…I got a cousin Vince. Why?"

"I'm at his place."

"His place? Last I heard he was back in Jersey. But that was a few years ago. He got busted on drug charges back in New York in the 80s. His mother, my mother's sister, said that he was minding his P&Qs. What's he doing here?"

"Well, not much right now. He's dead Jim."

"Damn." Last thing Jim needed was to be calling his family back East with the news. "Need me to identify the body?"

"Well, it wouldn't hurt, but your story matches what we have on the guy, except I didn't know he was your cousin. I'm sorry Jim."

"Wait…is he part of Jeb's kidnapping?"

"Don't know for sure but his prints match some we found at your house. And a snitch gave him up as one of Salvino's crew."

"I thought Ellie was running with Salvino. Why would his people have my son?"

"I don't know Jim. It doesn't make sense to me right now. Look, the coroner's packing up the vic to head back to the morgue. See you there"

"Yeah, in about an hour. Thanks Sam."

Jim decided to wait on his call to his family until he was sure it was his cousin. But it sounded like Vince, so he knew he was delaying the inevitable. Quickly he got dressed as he explained to Sofia what was happening. "I won't be long, I promise," he assured her. "I'll be back in time to take the next phone call. But I need to see about Vince. He was drug scum, but his mother is a nice lady and she deserves…well, better than she ever got from him, anyway."

Sofia pictured a grey haired old lady sitting at home worrying about her son. Sofia knew too well what worrying about a child was like so she hugged Jim and told him to go, but to hurry back. Jim nodded grimly and headed to the morgue.

"Yeah, that's him." Jim said as he stood next to Doc Robbins, staring at the lump of trash on the slab. "Cousin Vinnie….His Mamma is gonna be so proud."

Doc looked from Vince's face to Jim's." I see a family resemblance" was all he said.

"Closer than you think, Doc. I got busted when I was seventeen for joy riding with a couple of my classmates. We had…uh, 'borrowed' old man Hartley's car. Turns out my classmates had borrowed cars before and used them in liquor store heists. The judge let me off easy and gave me the choice of jail or the Marines. My two buddies went to jail. The Marines straightened me out and now I'm the stellar guy you see before you. Vince grew up in the same neighborhood and we ran with a lot of the same crowd." Jim paused a minute to reassess his judgment of Vince. "There but for the grace of God and the United States Marine Corps go I. That could be me on that slab, if things had gone a little differently."

Doc nodded negatively. "Somehow I can't believe it Jim. You're too good a man to end up like this one did."

"Yeah…well, maybe." Jim shrugged. "Thanks Doc," he said as he turned and headed home. Memories were spinning through his head. Vince had been a couple of years younger than him and had looked up to him when they were growing up. Had he hooked up with the guys because he'd seen Jim running with them? Jim hoped not. Actually he had only been involved in the ride in old man Hartley's car as a prank, a teenage stupid assed prank. It was supposed to be for fun. He had no idea that Mike and Terry were planning to use it in another heist, with Jim as the driver. As miserable as that night had been, what with getting arrested and all, Jim knew that in some respects it was the luckiest night of his life because it put a stop to his downward spiral…well, at least one of them.

Sofia saw him pull into their driveway. She watched as he slowly climbed out of his car. He looks so tired, she thought. So weary. Her stomach pitched as she watched him walk toward the house. All of this was eating at him; she wondered how much more of life could his broad shoulders handle? As she watched him step onto the porch, she loved him with such an intensity that tears formed in her eyes. He was a good man and didn't deserve all the crap that life threw at him. When he opened the door, she was there and gathered him into her arms, holding him tightly as if she would never let him go.

Surprised by the intensity of her greeting, he asked if she was okay.

"I just…I missed you," was all she said. He knew there was more to her hug. But he let it go. They both were so….raw right now. Their feelings were sensitive and they both were a little off balance. If she needed to hold onto him as if her life depended on it well, he could use a little hugging right now too.

She sat next to him on the couch as he dialed his aunt's number in Jersey. Sofia arms were wrapped around his left arm and her head rested against his shoulder. He was concentrating on just how he was going to break the news to his 80 something year old aunt and Sofia's closeness, her physical support, gave him strength.

As he began talking to his aunt, Sofia withdrew just a little, giving him the space he needed for the conversation. But her hand still rested on his shoulder, letting him know that she was there for him. As the conversation continued, Sofia heard Jim take on the task of arranging for Vince's body to be shipped back to Jersey, as soon as the coroner's office had finished its examination. One more thing piled on those shoulders, she shuddered.

As the conversation wound down and ended, Jim closed his cell phone and turned his now dark blue eyes to his wife. "Thanks," he said softly. Her hand caressed the side of his face, careful not to press to hard, fearing that his jaw might still be sore. "I'm worried about you, Jim," she murmured quietly. "Funny," he said, a small sad smile at the corners of his mouth, "I was thinking the same about you." The couple sat, two sets of blue eyes quietly gazing at one another, waves of love and care being carried over the unseen wavelengths between them; each gathering strength from the other.

Finally Sofia broke the trance. "You're a good man, Jim Brass. I don't tell you that often enough."

Something inside of Jim gave way and floods of emotions washed through him. He pulled her to him, burying his face in her neck as tears slipped out of his eyes. "I try, Sofie…I really do try. Things just keep getting so screwed up. If it weren't for you, I'd have given up a long time ago. You make me want to be a better man."

"Dammit Jim, you are the best kind of man. You have been the whole time I've known you. How could I possibly make you better than you are? I wish you could see yourself the way others see you, the way I see you."

"I just….everything keeps getting so messed up…shit just seems to happen even when I try to make it stop."

"Because you don't hide from life, Jim. You meet it head on, squaring those broad shoulders of yours and butting heads with the worst there is. You live life like you used to play hockey, straight up and skating toward the puck, piling into the mix, never giving an inch, taking your hits and cross checking whenever you get the chance. But you've more than paid your dues in the penalty box and its time life cut you some slack."

Jim looked at her as he listened to her hockey analogy. God, he loved it when she got all steamed up and on a roll. Her face was so intense, her eyes smoldering, and her outrage so evident. He couldn't help but smirk.

"What?" she glared at him.

"You _have _been listening when I talk hockey," was all he could manage before a grin worked its way onto his face.

A smile broke across her countenance too as she responded to his change of mood. "Yeah, I have. Had to since for months out of the year, it's all you talk about."

"Sorry," he shrugged unabashedly.

She studied him for a moment and then chuckled. "Damn Jim, how do you manage to be so cute and loveable all the time?"

"Somehow I doubt that the guys down at the station would see it that way," he chuckled.

Their banter was cut off by the ringing of the phone. Nervously, Jim picked it up. "Brass," he said as he listened for what came next.

-------------------------------------------------

Sorry, this one got a little long. I was struggling with it at first and then it just took on a life of its own. As always, reviews equals interest. The little button is still there.


	20. Ellie's Game

The voice that he had been both dreading and anxious to hear spoke on the other end of the line. "Good, you are there."

"Where else would I be? You have everything that is important to me," Jim replied.

"Glad you understand how things are. Have you talked to Ellie?"

"First I want to hear from my family."

"I told you, I am in control here."

"Yeah…and I told you, I cooperate as long as I know they are okay." It was a dangerous game they were playing and Jim had the most to lose, but he needed to do two things; keep the guy on the line long enough to get a fix on the phone and confirm that Maria and Jeb were still alive.

Suddenly he heard Maria's frightened voice. "Jim?"

"Yeah….you okay?"

"Um…fine. And so is Jeb. They….they haven't hurt us Jim. We stay in a locked room most of the time, just the two of us. But…."

He heard a clicking as the phone was obviously taken away from her. "So….satisfied?"

"It's a start," Jim said flatly. "As for Ellie…I can't find her. I've called and called and so has her mother. She isn't at any of her usual places. I know because I asked a friend to check on her. I….I need more time to find her."

Silence hung on the line and then he heard a disgruntled sigh. Anger dripped from the voice. "I told you…."

"I know. And I am trying to find her. But like I said yesterday, we haven't talked in awhile. She and I don't exactly see eye to eye these days."

"Oh…and why would that be?" There was something accusing in the tone. A feeling came over Jim that he knew that voice. If only he could place it.

"I'm not exactly thrilled with her career choices," Jim said bluntly as he puzzled over the voice.

"I'll give you one more day," he said. "Oh…and Jim, how's your cousin…Vince?" Then the line went dead.

Jim carefully hung up the phone, controlling the panic that had been chasing butterflies through his stomach during the conversation. Then looking at Sofia, he nodded. "They are okay."

She had been sitting ramrod straight, every muscle in her body tense with fear. With his words, her bones turned to jelly and her posture collapsed. "So now what?"

"We get another day."

The technician that had moved into the spare bedroom, gear and all, emerged. "Just called Vega. We got a fix. Can't believe the guy was that stupid…to stay on the line for so long, I mean."

"I'm just glad he did," said Jim. His cell phone started ringing and he crossed the room to pick it up. "Brass."

"Jim, it's Gil. We found Thermopolis and Annie is having him tailed. I have to tell you though, I don't think he is behind this."

"Why not?"

"He's already working on his next deal. Annie's guys observed him talking to some Mid-Eastern looking guys. From the audio that we were able to get, they are negotiating. His only phone calls have been about the new deal."

"I just got off the phone with the kidnapper…"

"It wasn't Thermopolis."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah…hey, I gotta go. Rick just talked to Annie and they have a lead on Salvino."

"Okay, thanks Gil."

Jim cocked his head slightly, his eyes furrowing. "This isn't making any sense," he said out loud.

"What?" asked Sofia.

"The caller knew about Vince. Gil just said he doesn't think Thermopolis is our guy; for sure, he didn't make the last phone call. And if Ellie is a part of Salvino's crew, why would they have Jeb and Maria? And why did Vince end up dead? He's part of Frankie's bunch too." He paused. "And what the hell is Ellie doing in the middle of all of this?" Frustration was setting in and his voice betrayed it.

Meanwhile, Sam Vega and the swat team went to the address provided by the trace on the last call from the kidnapper. They surrounded an old house just a couple of blocks off the strip. It appeared empty. They approached carefully, not wanting to tip off any occupants. And when everyone was in place and ready, they moved in.

Vega entered through the front door. Proceeding carefully, he moved through the house as members of the swat team finished their search and gave the 'all clear.' They found no one. But on the kitchen counter, he found a picture with a note. The picture was of a woman holding a small child. The child, he recognized, was Jeb Brass. The note read: _You have 24 hours and then they die._

A search of the house revealed the room that Maria and Jeb had been held captive in. There was a mattress in the corner with a blanket. A couple of children's story books and some old puzzles were near the mattress. And then, in the corner, Vega spotted something that chilled him. There w as a towel with blood on it.

Just then, Nick stokes arrived to process the house. He had Greg with him and the two men solemnly went to work. Sam pointed them toward the towel and then walked outside to call his Captain.

As the call ended, Jim closed his phone and looked across the room where Sofia watched him in anticipation. Without him saying anything, she knew the news was bad. He panicked as he saw her melt into the chair behind her, her motion graceful and heart breaking at the same time. He was beside her instantly, wanting to comfort and console her yet knowing their neither was really possible. Consequently he simply held her; driving back his own fear in hopes that he could somehow help soothe hers.

Things were beginning to break in L.A. Gil and Warrick were with Annie Kramer when an agent from the local FBI office came to talk to her about her inquiries into Nicky Thermopolis' activities. "Look, we are on the verge of busting this guy. It has taken years of undercover work to get to this point. I don't know why you are suddenly sticking your nose into it, but you're about to blow it for us."

Annie wasn't giving an inch. "Look Agent Green, we think he is somehow involved with the kidnapping of the family of a Las Vegas police captain. Dr. Grissom and CSI Brown are here to assist us in our investigation. They have knowledge of the evidence at their end."

"A cop's family has been kidnapped? Why haven't we heard anything?"

"Because we wanted to try to keep it as in house as possible," said Gil. "We don't know who is involved and how far this goes."

"But geez, a police captain….that's pretty far up the ranks. Who did he piss off?" asked the agent.

"Actually, his daughter is the target, we think," explained Annie. "They are using him to get to her….or at least trying to."

"Okay….well, this changes things. I'll fill you in on what we know. Nicky has been wheeling and dealing the last couple of weeks and lined up two big deals. One is…"

"We don't need everything, Agent Green," Gil interrupted. "We just need to know about his activities concerning Ellie Brass…and possibly Frankie Salvino."

Green frowned and then began. "Okay…Frankie approached Nicky for a small deal. He apparently had a buyer back East that wanted some untraceable hand guns and a couple of Uzi 9s. Nicky checked him out and they began to negotiate. We also checked out Frankie and some of the people running with him. There was a young girl…20 something, that brought an older guy to Frankie's table. We believe he was the buyer. They seemed to know each other from the past; kept talking about New Jersey. Anyway, Frankie made the buy and turned the weapons over to the girl. She took off with them before the payoff, leaving Frankie with empty pockets and the buyer without his goods. She played both ends against the middle, because she had the buyer's cash as well as the guns. Our agents tried to follow her but she lost them out near Barstow."

"Barstow…that's on the way to Vegas," Warrick commented.

"Yeah…we think that's where she headed but we haven't found her yet," replied Green. "Meantime…one of Frankie's boys, Vince Mason took off after her. We don't think Frankie sent him. The guy went on his own."

"What about the buyer?" asked Gil.

"We've lost him. He tried to go after Frankie but couldn't get close. One of the agents trying to follow the girl thought he spotted our guy near Barstow, but he didn't get a positive ID."

"So, you think the girl could be Ellie Brass?" asked Warrick.

"You got a picture of her?"

Annie pulled out a mug shot from one of Ellie's busts. "Yeah," she said as she handed it over.

Agent Green looked at the picture. "Hair is different but that's her. What's she in the system for?"

"Drugs and prostitution," replied Annie.

"Wow…well, she's certainly playing in the big leagues now."

"Yeah. But now the question is who has Jeb and Maria? Is it Frankie's people or this mysterious buyer?" The wheels were obviously spinning inside Gil Grissom's head.

---------------------------------------------------

Reviews please. This is getting so twisted I'm even having trouble keeping it straight and I concocted the darn thing, lol. I would love to hear your thoughts.


	21. Catching a Break

While the trio in L.A. was talking to Agent Green, Jim's cell rang. It was his ex, Ellie's mother.

Jim, I heard from Ellie…" she began.

"When…where is she?"

"She's in Vegas. She…Jim…." She paused between sobs. "Mike is there Jim," she whispered.

"Mike?" His mind was reeling. "O'Toole is here?"

"Yeah," she managed to respond. "He found her and… he told her about him and me…that she isn't…that he is…"

"Damn!" Jim swore, his heart was breaking on several levels.

"Jim…she got tangled up with him in Los Angeles….some sort of deal that went bad, she said. She said she took off and headed for Vegas, trying to get to you. But he followed her and now she's scared. And she's scared about how you will react. And Jim….she said Vince was there too."

"Vince is dead, Nancy. My guess is that O'Toole killed him. He was probably trying to help Ellie."

"Oh my god, she's in real danger isn't she?"

"Yeah Nancy, she is. I don't think O'Toole cares one bit that he was the sperm donor. I thought the kidnapper was using me to get to her. Now I think he's using her to get to me. He wants payback." Jim was feeling sick. Mike O'Toole had his son and had control over Ellie.

"Jim, I told her to call you…I begged her. If she does….be careful."

"I know…I'll tread softly, for her sake and for Jeb's."

"Call me when you know anything?"

"Yeah….and if she calls you again, tell her to call me. Tell her…" he thought of what Nancy could say to convince her. "Tell her that I said she's my kid, no matter what. Tell her I love her."

There was a pause as the words rested between the two parents. "I really screwed things up, didn't I Jim? Ellie should have been yours in everyway."

"She is Nancy…she's mine in everyway that counts."

Sofia had followed the conversation from Jim's end and had put it together. "You think Mike O'Toole has Jeb?" she asked as he closed his phone.

"That's how it sounds."

"Oh my god," she cried out.

Jim held her, trying to reassure her but finding it difficult because he was so upset himself. Finally his nerves calmed a little and Sofia was settling down too. "Honey, I need to call Vega."

She nodded and released her tight hold on him. "Yeah…he needs to know."

As Jim filled Sam Vega in on the latest news, Sofia went to the bathroom to splash water on her face and to try to gain more composure. She knew she needed to pull it together. She needed her wits about her as things were getting very complicated for Jim. It might come down to him having to choose between his children and she knew the choice would tear him apart. She knew how much he loved Jeb. And she knew how much he loved and still hoped for salvation for Ellie. There was not doubt in her heart that he would die rather than let Jeb be hurt. And if it actually came to a choice, Jim would reason that Ellie had made her choices and that his job was to protect Jeb. As surely as she knew that, she knew that the decision would destroy him. She had to pull herself together to support him; before she was Jeb's mother, she was Jim's wife. As afraid as she was for Jeb, she knew her first priority was Jim.

Vega called the Newark PD and had a photo of O'Toole faxed to him. An APB went out immediately. Hundreds of pairs of eyes were on the look out for the kidnapper of Captain Jim Brass's son. One of their own had been attacked and they would each do their part.

He had also been in touch with Grissom and Brown, who were already on their way back to Vegas. Now it was a matter of finding this O'Toole person, quickly.

Three hours later they caught a break. A clerk at an off strip, flea bag motel shared his concern about the guests in Room 218 with the waitress at the coffee shop around the corner. She, in turn shared the concerns with Officer Wilder, a handsome young man with whom she wanted to chat. Romeo called it in immediately. Vega called Jim.

Jim and Sofia headed for the motel, where they planned to meet Vega. Jim's cell rang while they were en route. "Brass," he barked into the phone.

"Dad?"

"Ellie? Where are you? Are you okay?"

"Um…yeah Dad. I'm okay. Mom said she told you…everything."

"Yeah..where are you?"

I…I have the baby. We're at the Twilight Inn, Room 218."

"I'm on my way. Is…is he there?"

"Yeah..but…" He could hear her tears. "I…ssh..shot him, Daddy. There's blood everywhere."

"Okay honey. Detective Vega is on his way there with the swat team. If he gets there before me, let him in, okay baby?"

"Oo…okay Daddy."

"Honey, it's going to be okay. I think I know what happened….but we'll talk. You're okay?"

"Yeah…and so is your baby. But the woman….she's dead."

"Oh my god…."

"She wasn't your wife, was she." Ellie's voice was flat. Jim was afraid she was goin into shock.

"No honey. O'Toole mistook her for Sofia. But she was Maria, a nurse that was hired to help me while I recovered."

You were hurt?"

"I was but I'm okay now. We'll talk about that…about everything later. Right now, just …take Jeb and go outside onto the balcony. Watch for Vega or for me to get there, okay honey?"

"Yeah…okay. You'll be here soon?"

"Almost there baby."

Vega arrived just ahead of Jim and Sofia. He found Ellie on the balcony, holding Jeb tightly. An officer stood next to Ellie as Vega entered the room. While Vega was checking inside the room, Jim and Sofia wheeled into the parking lot. Both were out of the car as soon as it stopped.

Jeb started crying and calling for his Mommy and Daddy as soon s he saw them. Ellie handed the boy to Jim, who hugged him and then handed him to Sofia. Then Jim did something that totally surprised Ellie; he hugged her. He hadn't hugged her that tightly in years, as if he might squeeze her to death. "You're okay…you're sure?" He asked.

"Yeah Dad," she said between her tears. "I'm sorry…I…" she looked from him to Jeb and then at Sofia. Her gaze travelled back to Jim. "I really didn't mean for this to happen."

Sofia's hand reached the back of Jim's shoulder. It ran down his arm and clutched his hand. He turned from his daughter to look at his wife. The gentleness, the understanding that he found in her eyes held his attention. Now that Jeb was in her arms, the fear and anger were gone. "Give me the keys to the car. I'll take Jeb home. You go with Ellie to the PD. Help her through it."

The sincerity in her bright blue eyes almost made his heart stop. He reminded himself to breath as he was caught in that moment of absolute clarity and understanding. She knew that Ellie needed him; but more than that, she knew that he needed to be there for Ellie. And she was encouraging him to go. "I don't want to leave you and Jeb alone…" he began to protest.

"Fine, I'll call someone to come over. But you need to go see about Ellie. She's your child too."

Ellie saw the look between her father and his wife. She saw the understanding. And she saw the acceptance. The only acceptance that she ever witnessed between her parents was the acceptance of failure when they finally split up. But she realized that with this woman he had found someone who knew and understood him and loved him anyway….or because of who he was. She knew that she was witnessing something very special.

Slowly Jim reached in his pocket and handed Sofia the keys. Very quietly and tenderly he told her that he wouldn't be too long.

"You take as long as you need," insisted Sofia. "Jeb and I will be waiting for you when you get home."

He took the toddler in his arms once again and held him tightly. Then he told Ellie that he'd be right back. She watched as her father walked his wife and son to the car, joy emanating from his every pore.

While Jim was putting Jeb in the car, a tired and unshaven pair of CSIs drove in. Grissom and Brown climbed out of their car and walked over to Jim's car. "Hey….you got him back," smiled Warrick.

"Yeah," replied Sofia.

Gil watched, happy to see that at least it was a happy ending for Jeb. He knew that the police and FBI both wanted to talk to Ellie and there was likely some prison in her future; which meant, of course, that his friend Jim would be in a prison of his own.

The three men stood in the lot and watched as the car pulled away. Jim turned to the other two and thanked them. While it had been Ellie who had broken the case open for them, the information they were able to gather in L.A. had provided valuable clues.

"Catherine's on her way over with Greg and Nick to process the scene. Warrick and I are headed for some showers and time in the sack. But if you need anything Jim…" Gil left the rest hanging.

Jim looked somberly up at his daughter, still watching from the balcony. "What I need now, you guys can't provide. But…I really appreciate all that you did. A guy couldn't ask for better friends."

As the two weary travelers drove out of the lot, Jim headed back to Ellie. Vega suggested that Jim and Ellie head to PD and he'd be there as soon as Catherine got to the scene. "Officer Metcalf can drive you," he offered.

Back at the station, Jim decided they could wait in his office. "Oh," he said as he pulled out his cell phone. "Call your mother."

As he heard Ellie talking to Nancy, Jim's eyes travelled to the photos on his desk of Ellie as a small girl. A memory of the day they were at the park and she fell off the monkey bars flashed through his mind. He remembered washing off her scrapes at the water fountain. If only helping her could be so easy now. Sighing, he flipped through his rolodex until he found the number he was looking for. Dialing, he asked to speak to Warren Atkins. "Yeah, Warren. Jim Brass. Ah, I'm down at PD with my daughter and she's got some serious legal issues. Can you help?"

Jim talked a minute or two longer with the lawyer before hanging up. By then Ellie had finished her call too. Looking across the desk from her chair, the tears began to roll down her face. "Dad….I've been so stupid….I kept pushing you away, thinking you didn't love me…"

He felt the tears in his own eyes as they welled up. "I've always loved you Ellie, since the day you were born. You looked up at me through those tiny little eyes and stole my heart and you've had a piece of it ever since."

They sat quietly as they waited for what was to come.

----------------------------------------------

Like Cookie Monster, I need to be fed. Reviews equals cookies.


	22. Family

Warren Atkins, Attorney-at-Law, sat next to Ellie in the interrogation room. Jim was on the wrong side of the glass wall as far as he was concerned but Atkins had assured him that it was best that he not be in the room. Sam Vega was conducting the interview. It didn't take much for Ellie to start talking.

I met Mike O'Toole in Los Angeles. He heard some of my friends call me Jersey and started talking to me. Turned out we were from the same town. I introduced him to this guy I know, Frankie Salvino. Frankie helped him arrange to buy some guns…you know, quietly."

"You knew there was no way this was legal, right?" Vega asked.

"Well…yeah." Ellie looked at him disdainfully. "Anyway, Mike wanted to stay in the background and suggested to Frankie that I finish the deal. So I put Mike's money in my car and drove to the meeting. Nicky Thermopolis had two of his guys put the weapons in my car and I started to hand over the money when this big SUV comes barreling in and Mike's driving. He blocked out Nicky's guys and jumped to my car and started yelling for me to get in so I do.

We headed out of town and I asked where we were going. "Got any ideas?" he asked.

I told him I knew my way around Vegas a little. So we headed here. We found a vacant house and he jimmied the door and that's where we stayed for a few days."

Ellie stopped talking for a minute, nervously looking around the room. "That's when Vince showed up. Mike had hired him off of Frankie and Vince followed us to Vegas. Mike started talking to Vince about this crazy idea about kidnapping a kid and I got scared. That's when I took Mike's money and got out of there."

"You took your car, right?"

"Yeah."

"The guns were still in your car?"

"Yeah, but I wasn't thinking about that…I just wanted to get away."

Jim stood on the other side of the glass, fists so tight his knuckles were white. Running away….always running away, he thought. Well, this time you can't run.

Ellie continued. "I took off but Vince followed me. He knew I was staying at the motel. He said for me to stay there, away from Mike. He said Mike was bad news. Said he knew him from Jersey…that he knew my Dad."

Jim wondered how much Vince knew about his connection to Mike O'Toole. Well, at least Jim had something better to tell his aunt; Vince died trying to help Ellie, trying to save Jim's daughter. That would make Aunt Barbara feel a little better…maybe.

"I hung out at the motel, waiting to hear from Vince that Mike was leaving town. Then Vince called me and told me that Mike had kidnapped Dad's wife and son. Said Mike was trying to pay him back for sending him to prison….said he was using me taking the money and guns as a reason. Vince was upset. He was going to try to get them away from Mike and then he'd call me. But he never called. I got scared that something had happened to him so I went back to the house. That's…that's when I saw them, Dad's family. She was…so scared. And his little boy," Ellie fidgeted with her fingers a moment, "Jeb was so cute. I could see Dad in him. I knew I had to do something."

"Was Mike there?"

"Yeah…asleep. So Vince gave me the kid and he was going to take the woman and put them in the car. But Mike woke up. Vince shoved me out the door with the wife behind me and then I heard shots. I had them in the car and when Mike came out, I took off. We went back to the motel while I tried to decide what to do."

"Never occurred to you to call the police…or your father?" asked Vega.

"I….Dad is the police. And I …" Ellie suddenly got very quiet. Jim knew what that was about.

"Anyway, somehow Mike tracked us down and showed up at the room. I told him he could have the money and the guns. I told him to leave the woman and kid there, that we had time to get away. He went all nuts. He said that that wouldn't satisfy his revenge. I asked why he wanted revenge. He told me about Dad turning him in….that he'd been a cop in Jersey too. That Dad had him busted for being dirty. He spent years in prison and he said Dad owed him for taking him away from his family….his daughter."

Jim shuffled uneasily in the other room. So O'Toole knew that Ellie was his…and he never said a word, until now.

"I tried to tell him he had his revenge…that Dad had sweated the whole kidnapping thing and was shitting bricks that I was involved. I told him that I had talked to Mom and she told me that. He got all angry at me….and then he asked me if she told me…."

"Told you what?"

Ellie glanced up at the glass. Sensing who was behind it, she shrugged and then continued her story without answering the question. "Anyway, I grabbed the kid and yelled for the woman to run. Mike shot her. I put the kid down and charged at him. He aimed at me but the woman lunged at him and knocked him down. The gun fell and I grabbed it and shot him. That's when I called Dad. The woman…she wasn't his wife, she told me that before she died. She was worried about Jeb, afraid he'd been hurt." Ellie looked down at the table. "Imagine that…she's choking on her own blood and all she can think of is some pukey little kid."

"Yeah…imagine that," replied Vega. "Ellie I have to arrest you. You were involved in a lot of stuff here. The D.A. will have to sort it all out but for now the charges will be possession of illegal weapons. Of course, the L.A. cops and the FBI will want their chance at you too."

Ellie turned to Atkins. "Some help you are," she spat.

"The only way I can help you is through the truth. That you were trying to help the kidnap victims will go a long way, but I won't deny that you will probably be spending some serious time behind bars. Without your version of the story, however, all they had was the evidence and it implicated you in the kidnapping." He turned to Sam. "Detective Vega, are you charging her with kidnapping?"

Sam glanced over his shoulder at the glass wall before answering. "Not at this time. Like I said, it's up to the D.A. But I believe Ellie's story."

Jim relaxed some. Kidnapping charges meant that Ellie would probably spend most of the rest of her life in prison. Without those charges, she was looking a only a few years…at least in Nevada. He walked around the corner and opened the door to the interrogation room. "Sam, could I have a minute with my daughter?"

Sam looked across at the lawyer and quietly they both left. Jim stood, looking at Ellie, not quite sure knowing what to say. She looked back at him, sadness emanating from her. "Mike….told me. About him and Mom….and me. Is that why?"

"Why what, Ellie?" Jim asked tiredly.

"Why you left. You couldn't stand to look at me anymore, could you?"

Jim sat down next to her and took her hands in his. Looking at her in the eyes, he struggled for what to say. "I told you, baby. I love you. I have since the day you were born. I've never thought of you as anything but my daughter, but as rocky as things got, I'll admit it scared me that you might find out that I'm not your biological father. As for me leaving…I tried to stay, honey. I really did. But things were so bad….the job was killing me and your Mom…well, she kept looking in other directions. I couldn't stand to look at her anymore. But more than that, I couldn't look at me in the mirror anymore. I was drinking, had an affair of my own, and just didn't recognize the guy that stared back at me every morning. I had to leave. I had to start over. Leaving you hurt but if I stayed, I would lose you anyway because I was losing myself."

Ellie looked at him in a way she hadn't in years. "I'm sorry Daddy; I'm sorry that I did all those things….all of it."

"I'm going to do everything I can to help you but Warren is right; you're looking at prison."

"Yeah, I got that." She looked down a moment. "Is this…is helping me…will that mess things up with your wife?"

Jim shrugged. "It ain't gonna make it easy," he smirked, doing what he always did, using humor to help him deal with fear. His was scared of how things would be when he did get home. "But Sofia understands that you are my kid. She left me at the motel because she knew I needed to see this through with you. She said she and Jeb will be there when I get home."

"She…she makes you happy?"

"Yeah, she does. After I was shot, things were just…I dunno, I was slowly dying. But she gave me a new life. And Jeb….I'm trying to get things right with him…trying to learn from my mistakes."

"Yeah…he's a cute kid. I see a lot of you in him." She chuckled,"he's got your snarkiness."

"Like I said, trying to raise him right," he shrugged.

"I'm glad you are happy….I really am."

"Thanks. But right now I would be a lot happier if this was behind all of us."

"You'll visit me?" The hope in her question went straight to Jim's heart.

"Every chance I get. I'm here for you, Ellie. For as much as you need me, I'm here for you."

A uniformed officer entered the room and stood by the door. Ellie glanced up and realized he was here to officially arrest her. Sam Vega stood next to him. She stood up and looked at her father, who rose with her. Tears formed in both of their eyes as Ellie, for the first time in years, reached for her father. He hugged her, holding her close. Then she let him go and walked toward Vega, holding out her hands for the cuffs. Jim watched sadly as Sam issued the Miranda and the uniform cuffed her. His heart filled his chest as he watched his daughter being led away.

Sofia watched Jim as he walked through the door. Her own emotions were twisted and tangled but at least Jeb was home and safe, asleep in his bed. Jim just left his daughter in jail. He looked at her and his dark blue eyes showed the weariness and the fear that he was feeling. Crossing the room quickly, she engulfed him with an embrace. He held her like a lifeline. Suddenly all the emotions of the last few days spilled over in him. His sobs shook his entire body as his fingers clinched at her back. Her hands wound behind his head, pulling him closer to her as she whispered his name. "Jim, shh….it's okay. Jeb is safe and I'm safe. And even though she has a lot to answer for, Ellie is safe. The rest, we'll deal with."

He straightened up and looked into her bright blue eyes. "I've been so scared. It was all so much. I'm sorry…about the tears, I mean."

"I think the tears are justified. Only real men cry and admit fear."

"Right," he smirked. "You…" he looked around, "you didn't pack up?"

She looked at him, confused. "Pack up?"

"I was afraid that since…well, with Ellie in the middle of it… and me going to PD instead of coming home…I was afraid that you…"

"Jim Brass," she grabbed his shoulders and shook him in anger. "When will you get it? I'm not going anywhere. This is our life, the good and the bad. I wanted you to come home with us but I understand….and Ellie needed you. You are here now and you've been here through it all. And I'm here too. That's the way it is; you and me together." She looked into his eyes, watching as they seemed to clear and lighten in color. Changing her tone she asked, "Hungry?"

A small smile teased the corners of his mouth. "For food? No."

"You sure?" she asked as her hand ran down the front of his shirt. "I could fix something quick."

"What I'm hungry for isn't in the kitchen," he said, his eyes growing smoky.

"So…where is it?"

"I'm looking at it." His expression was tender.

She took his hand and led him to their room. After they were on the bed, she began to rub his shoulders, feeling his tension melt away. Soon his shirt was gone and her fingers ran over his chest that she loved so much. There was such power there, she thought. His eyes never left her as she continued to massage and caress. The lust he felt at her touch competed with the intense feelings of love and gratitude that he also felt. She kissed him, gently at first but desire took over and the heat intensified. His hands roamed her body, relishing the smooth feel of her skin and what it did to his body. They couldn't caress enough, kiss enough, or get closes enough. They needed the closeness, as much for their souls as to satisfy their bodies. When the passion was spent and the calmness after the act settled on them, they still lay close, quietly clinging to one another, pressing against the warmth that the other offered. "God Sofie, I love you so much. I don't know what I would do without you," he whispered.

Softly she answered. "Lucky you, because you don't have to. I love you Jim and this is the only place I want to be."

"Yeah, lucky me," he sighed contentedly as he drifted off to sleep.

Sofia smiled quietly to herself. She thought about his eyes, how the color changed with his mood and decided that smoky was still her favorite shade of blue.

---------------------------------------

Hope you enjoyed. For something that started out to be a short one or two shot, it kind of got long, lol. Thanks to all who reviewed. And as always, I'd love to hear what you thought of this chapter.


	23. Epilogue

I realized that I left a detail unresoved, so this is to clear that up.But then, that really is the end.

-----------------------------------------------

Jim and Sofia were spending the day with Jeb, simply rejoicing in his return to them. Jim had cooked breakfast and the three of them had gone to the park. Usually Jeb was difficult to keep up with at the park but today was different. He wasn't as carefree and uninhibited as a not quite three year old should be. He stayed close to his parents, never wanting them more than a few feet away, which suited them fine. Neither had slept well, waking frequently to check his bed to reassure themselves that he was there. Jim was contemplating the changes in all of them when his cell phone rang.

"Brass."

"Jim, it's Gil. Just checking to see how you guys are doing today."

"Better. I think it will be awhile before we feel like normal again though. But I'm glad you called. Wanted another chance to thank you for going to L.A. It...well, it's good to have friends that care so much. "

"No thanks necessary. I'm just glad that things turned out okay. I know things will be rough for Ellie, but it could have been so much worse."

"Yeah. We'll have to see who files what charges..."

"Hey listen, the Sheriff saw me in the hall and asked me how you guys were. And then he asked me if you had made a decision yet. Do you know what he was talking about?"

"Oh," Jim was flustered. He'd totally forgotten about the Sheriff's job offer. "Ah, yeah...that. Ah, I guess I should call him..."

"Yeah, he said he needs an answer before the Council meeting on Thursday. " Gil paused. "I guess you are not going to tell me what it is about, are you?"

"Not until after I talk it over with Sofie. I'll fill you in later though, okay?"

"Sure. Well, I'll let you get back to your family. And Jim, I'm really happy that things turned out okay."

Jim closed the phone and looked across at Sofia. She was pushing Jeb in the swing and he was giggling and yelling for her to push him higher. "Higher Mommy...higher." A smile broke out on Jim's face that filled his whole body. He decided that there was nothing sweeter to his ears than the sound of Jeb's giggles.

That afternoon, while Jeb napped, Jim sat next to Sofia and told her that there was something they needed to discuss.

"Good," she said matter-of-factly,"because there's something I wanted to talk to you about too."

"You want to go first?" he asked.

"Oaky...well, after everything that has happened...I, well...Jim, I want to quit the force." After a shaky beginning she had blurted it out. She sat, watching his reaction.

Disbelief warred with something else. She couldn't make out what he was feeling as he sat thoughtfully for a moment. Finally, his brow furrowed and he began working his mouth as he so often did when he was deciding something. "Honey, are you sure? I mean, you love your job...or at least, that's what I thought."

"I do...did. But after everything with Jeb...I, well...I don't want...I need..." she was having difficulty expressing her thoughts; something that was very unusual for Sofia Curtis Brass.

"Honey?" Jim asked, concerned.

"I don't think I can go off to work and leave him everyday...not anymore. I've always felt a tug, you know...between staying home and being his Mom and going to work and helping others. But now, I know what is most important...my family, you and Jeb. If I could keep you safe at home with me, I would do that too but I don't think you'd let me. But I can be here for Jeb and I want to."

Jim looked into her bright blue eyes and smiled. "I'd love to stay home and let you baby me, but you might get tired of me."

"Never,"she smiled.

Still smiling, he continued. "Honey, if that's what you want then that is what you should do. I just hope you don't look up one day and regret giving up your career."

"I know this is right for us, for me. Later, maybe I'll go back into police work or maybe I'll find something else. But right now I want to be your wife and Jeb's Mom 24/7."

"Then do it. I won't mind it at all knowing that you are home, taking care of our son and ironing my shirts."

"Well, maybe not ironing your shirts," she smiled.

"Okay," he said, flashing her his best sappy look.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Well, in a way you took all the tough stuff out of a decision I have to make."

"What?" she asked, perplexed.

The sheriif wants to promote me to Under-Sheriff when McKeen retires. The catch was, you couldn't be under my command."

"So me leaving the force resolves that issue. Of course you will accept it!"

"Your sure? It'll be a big change in our lives."

"You mean you'll be keeping regular hours and won't be in the field getting shot at? I think I can handle it."

"It also means all the political games that go with the job...and sometimes the hours won't be so regular because I'll have to do all the hand holding and flesh pressing stuff."

"And you will be very good at it too. Of course you will take it. It is long overdue, Jim. You would have been promoted years ago if Holly Gribbs handed been killed. You deserve it and you should do it."

"Speaking of 'doing it'...there's soem things I'dlike to be doing right now," he teased.

"Oh there are," she grinned at him and winked. "Why don't you walk down the hall with me and show me a thing or two, Captain, soon to be Undersherriff, Brass."

"Okay," he answered cheerfully as he obiedently followed her down the hall to their room, where he paused momentarily to quietly close the door.

--------------------------------

Okay, that really is The End. Please review, pretty please:-)

"


	24. Dear Readers

Dear Readers,

I am compelled to respond to a review to my story that I wrote almost a year ago. My first inclination was to ignore the review since I cannot find the story that the writer referred to in the review. I was not a fanfic reader 4 years ago and don't recall ever having read a story form this person or by the title.

My accuser wrote the following:

I came across your story after taking a break from reading fanfiction and was quite surprised by what I read. It's said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so I guess I will feel flattered instead of violated. In my fanfic, "The Measure of a Man," written over four years ago, Jim Brass's middle name is Elliot. In your fanfic, Jim's middle name is Elliot as well. This is not an uncommon name, but it was a surprise to see that you chose the same middle name as I had. Imagine my bigger surprise when Brass and Sophia's son is a junior and in order not to confuse father and son, the child is called by the acronym of his three initials—Jeb. This is not a coincidence.

I would really appreciate you giving credit where credit is due for this name. Your story is very enjoyable and would have been made even more so had you not borrowed my idea. Since I stopped reading your fanfic at this point, I have no idea how many other fanfic writers you have borrowed from, but they all deserve credit otherwise your flattery is just plain flat out plagiarism!

Brette O'Connell

First let me say, I never said Jim Brass's middle name was Elliot and the baby was not a junior. I wanted to use the acronym JEB. As I was writing, I was watching DVDs of The West Wing. If anything, the character Jeb Bartlett inspired the acronym. So I had to figure out what the "E" would stand for. I debated between Evan, Edward, and Elliot. Edward sounded a little stuffy and Victorian, James Evan Brass just didn't "ring" for me, and so I went with Elliot. Besides, it is the name of a very dear friend. The reviewer says the idea was no coincidence but it was. As I stated earlier, Idon't recall ever reading the other story.

The writer of the review asks for credit where it is due. Okay, that person had the same good idea I had. I don't 'borrow' ideas from other writers. I put a great deal of thought into the stories and this one was especially dear to me. This forum as a way to hone some very rusty writing skills and I enjoy the exercise. I have no reason to plagiarize since the whole point of this is for fun and to stretch the imagination a bit.

I wish the writer of the review had contacted me through e-mail to ask for an explanation instead of publically accusing me through a review. Integrity is very important to me; to intentionally steal from another goes against everything I am about. Realistically, none of us can be expected to have read every story ever posted here and avoid coincidences such as this one. I admit that, if Brette O'Connell did write the story and the names were the same, it is quite a coincidence, but that is all it is. I have gone to O'Connell's homepage and cannot find any stories listed by this author. If it exists, it must be in another venue that I am not aware of.

Please accept my apologies for any discomfort any of you feel over this issue. All I can say is, I am innocent. Any similarities between my story and the other one is most assuredly coincidental. Thank you for your understanding.


End file.
